by Mereshia De Nobrega

Created on: January 12, 2009

Grief can be lonely and a personal experience. When my baby girl died my sisters all said it was probable for the best. My baby was a healthy infant who died suddenly and unexplained at the age of two months.

What would they call my baby's death. Yes my baby died the same as many other babies. But my case will not be treated the same way. Why? here I will tell you why. We live in a rundown neighborhood were drugs and violence is a daily thing all of us live in poverty and on taxpayers money. I live with my Mother, three sisters two brothers, and four kids under the age of six years old. In a two bedroom council flat. I wanted to get out the rat hole and make something of myself I wanted to be know as the one that got out.

I wanted to study and become a teacher and I wanted to move and find a better place to live. I got my chance when I was offered a scholarship to study and make my dream come true. But live took me aside. Yes I had some fun in the sun. Well when the fun ended I found myself pregnant and the Father took himself out of the picture.

There was no way I could go to college now. I was facing my life here with ten other people and one more life to feed on tax payers money. How dumb could I still get.

Coming home with my baby and no cot for her I use the very next thing close to a cot. My dresser draw right next to me. My baby slept in there for two months. One night while sleeping my breast milk was ready to be suckled on but my baby girl never stirred for a feeding so I carried on sleeping. Now three hours latter my breast were real swollen and sore from not been fed on so I had to wake her for her feed. My baby died in her sleep and it was the most heartbreaking news I have ever had in my life.

Two weeks latter after my baby died I was arrested for causing my baby death. I was interrogated for hours. They didn't believe my baby died of SIDS because she was not sleeping in a cot. You smother you baby you wanted to be free, You were tired of this life, You young and wanted to get out and enjoy life hang out with your friends but you could not do that with a baby. You baby was holding you back you put a pillow over you baby face admit it now.

Your own Mother told us you had to give up you study because of your baby. You smothered you baby and now you free to do what you want The more I proclaimed my innocence the more they interrogated me. I was held without bail.

Here I was mourning the death of my sweet precious little girl and I've been accused of her death. All because of were I live and were my baby slept and been poor. Well after been in jail for eighteen days all charges was dropped for lack of evidence. SIDS and unexplained death.

Learn more about this author, Mereshia De Nobrega.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.