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meals and bed times, their usual leisure past times and work times. And if at all possible, one of the parents keeping the home the kids were living in, allows them to have their own familiar bedrooms, the old yard, their neighborhood friends, etc.

Do not expose your kids to your marital conflicts. Besides, your marriage is over, let it go. Don't argue with your ex-spouse in front of your children or let them hear you talking with (or about) them on the phone.

Refrain from talking with your children about details of your ex-spouse's negative behavior(s). Try, if possible, to develop an amicable relationship with your ex, as soon as possible, and be as polite as is reasonable in all your interactions. All your family members have strengths that you can call upon. Don't be afraid to do so. It will be helpful to you and give them all a feeling of empowerment that should not be underestimated.

Remember also to take care of yourself. You are one of the two key people in helping your child(ren) to cope. Avoid isolating yourself from people. Its easy to do, especially for guys or those who never were that social, but its a known fact that losing contact with people dwindling down to seeing no one, is a sign of mental illness or instability. So maintain contact to keep yourself open and alive and use those others as a mirror to show you when you are not fully functional. You don't need to be going to a party every other day, but maintain a healthy contact with friends as much as like before the divorce as now.

Build your support group using old friends. Although they may become casualties in divorce battles, stay current with those who remain faithful to you. At times like these, its important to take care of your health, both mental and physical, as well as your children's health. So, provide a balanced diet and see that they have enough exercise so they want to eat it. Exercise and play are one of the best ways to relieve stress. Utilize it. Rather than taking a sedative or anxiety pill, work out, work out hard if need be. Burn off that anxiety, that irritation. It will relieve you of the uncomfortable stimulative effects of anxiety and grief as well as help you lose weight and tone up. Being in shape is your single most healthy way to get through periods of extreme distress.

Not infrequently, a miserable end to a marriage leads to weight gain. But afterward, you may find a lack of desire to eat. Some call it the "divorce diet", but it can work wonders for you, if you

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