by Gary Wollenhaupt

Created on: January 12, 2009   Last Updated: June 13, 2011

Having a plan in mind when it comes time to ask the simple question "Will you marry me?" makes for a more memorable and enjoyable event for both the prospective bride and groom.

Women want to have a story to share with their friends and family, children and grandchildren. It helps make the occasion even more special to know that the husband-to-be has put some thought into it.

By the time a relationship is at the point of a proposal, the couple has most likely discussed marriage, looked at engagement rings and otherwise made it clear the time is right. It's then up to the guy to pick a time when she might not expect the question.

However, it's not always possible to develop a plan, given long-distance dating and complicated relationships. One couple, facing a lease renewal on one apartment, thought the timing was right to plan for marriage before moving in together. Some couples may see getting married as a sound business decision as they contemplate moving to take a new job or combining households.

Even if the actual proposal is anticlimactic, it can still be memorable. In any case your event doesn't have to be elaborate, expensive or embarrassing, just thoughtful. Although the proposal may involve a marching band or a ring baked in a cake, a woman still appreciates the traditional down-on-one-knee approach.

Feel free to enlist the help of friends or family to pull it off. Mike knew his fiance would be upset if she found out he paid for an expensive bed & breakfast, so he had a friend tell her he won a free weekend in a contest. Alan had his friends roll out the red carpet on the dock to his boat as the couple boarded for a proposal cruise.

Successful surprises call for misdirection. Andy had just been laid off from his job, and told his fiance there were going to get married, just not any time soon. He planned a getaway weekend, and made it clear the proposal would not happen this trip. Then during the fireworks at Disney World, he pulled the ring out of its hiding place in his shoe and slid it on her finger. Crowds of people congratulated the newly engaged couple and truly made it a night to remember.

Despite the jeweler's advertising, it's not all about the ring. It's really all about the event. Plan ahead for that moment of truth when you pop the question. Poetry is not necessary; just speak from the heart. Remember, lots of people will want to know exactly what he said.

They say real estate is all about location, location, location. It's the same when it comes time to pop the marital question.

For some couples, a secluded getaway spot is perfect, while others would rather be in the midst of a crowd cheering on their favorite sports team. Choose a spot wisely, as this moment will be shared with family and friends for generations to come.

Think about the season, too. The holiday period between Thanksgiving and Christmas has become the most popular time for engagements. In fact, about one-fourth of couples get engaged during that time, not surprising since couples often want to share their engagement with loved ones. It also fits nicely with a six-to-nine month time frame for planning a summer or fall wedding.

A thoughtful, passionate approach to engagement will ensure that your new life together has a memorable beginning.

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