by Cathy Mcclellan

Created on: January 12, 2009

Is Marriage Really Worth It? It absolutely is! I have been married 31 years to my high school sweetheart. Did we suffer bad times? Yes. Were there times when I second guessed my decision? Absolutely! But whenever I questioned my marriage, I would weigh the pros and cons of staying and I always came back to the bottom line. In the bottom of my heart I never questioned my love for him. At that point, I would realize that it didn't matter what was wrong at the time, I wanted to be with him, help him, love him.

I grew up with all the old adages of "that's how the cookie crumbles" or "pull up your bootstraps and keep going". No one ever promised that marriage was going to be a fairy tale and it is not. At one point my husband worked 3 jobs just so I didn't have to while pregnant. He was insistent that I stay home with the kids and care for them while he worked. There were many, many days in the early part of our marriage when we didn't see much of each other. But he always knew he had a warm home and family to come home to. He knew his kids were safe.

I was also taught to be independent and that my opinions matters so with that being said, there were many, many times when my husband I disagreed. He also had the same personality. But if you love each other enough, retaining individual personality is crucial. After all, you fell in love with the person. Do you really want to change that person? Of course not. Life in general is a matter of give and take. It's also give and take in a marriage. For example, everyone has different personal habits and you have to teach each other which ones you're willing to live with. At the beginning of any marriage some habits are absolutely irritating but after several years you look back and chuckle. None of us are perfect and none of us should expect that marriage needs to be your way and your way only.

Debating the issue tells us that some people think you need to live with someone first to see if you are compatible. If you are not sure if you are compatible then in my opinion, you obviously don't understand the term love. Loving someone means you learn to be compatible, just as the Bible states, "For bettor or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part." Realistically, of course, if you are in an abusive situation, protecting yourself is the number one priority.

Being able to share your life with someone is a wonderful thing. Someone to stand by you through the good times and bad is something that is beyond compare. Now, after all these years have passed, my husband and I can complete each others thoughts. We may not have a lot, but we fit like a comfortable pair of shoes.

I look back at the hard times and know I wouldn't have changed a thing. I have been asked many times if I would do it again. In a heartbeat!

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