by Shayne Connolly

Created on: January 12, 2009

This is about the most loaded question I have seen on Helium. I have voted Yes, only because parents must take some responsibility for their children's behaviour though life, not all but some. It's the question of Nature vs Nurture, for those who don't know it's an age old debate about which personality traits and behaviours we are born with and which we learn. I am yet to see any definitive answers to this question but it is irrelevant in this debate.

The simple fact as I see it is that whatever happens to your children in their lifetime, they are still your children. I will never pay to get my children out of trouble, I will never lie and cheat to save them from something they got themselves into but I will feel responsible for them, they are my blood. Don't think that part of me wouldn't want to do anything I had to to save them from any harm, but sometimes life teaches lessons in hard ways and I'm a believer in learning life's lessons.

I guess in the end it comes down to exactly what kind of behaviour we are talking about here? Are we talking about having manners and respect for people or are we talking about robbing banks and killing people. If we are talking about manners and respect then I think parents have all the responsibility, it's our job to instill those values into our children, if they don't have respect for others and they don't have manners then you have failed. It's only a small step from a lack of respect to other more unpleasant problems. If we are talking about robbing banks and killing people then this cannot be laid at the feet of parents, this is far outside the bounds of what could be seen as reasonable. There is nowhere you can look in society that would make you think killing or stealing is ok. In my opinion something is broken in these people, it may be something that has been broken since childhood or it may have broken recently due to other issues. The simple fact is that aside from some examples of extreme cruelty towards children there is no excuse for this behaviour. Daddy didn't love me doesn't mean killing is ok and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

In summary Yes, parents are responsible for the children they raise but only to a certain extent. How you would define this exactly I really don't know. What I do know is that if (heaven forbid) one of my four kids one day does something that bad I will feel responsible, I won't take the fall for them but part of me would want to. That's parenthood. Just another one of "Lifes Truths".

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