by Heather Horn

Created on: January 11, 2009

Pre-marital counseling is made up of one or more counseling sessions with the goal of helping a couple to become fully prepared for a successful marriage. In some cases, clergy members require pre-marital counseling before agreeing to conduct a ceremony. When this is the case, the clergy member can decide not to conduct the ceremony after counseling; however, they cannot forbid a couple to be married by another officiant. Many couples find pre-marital counseling to be very helpful. Even couples who feel that they are already well-prepared for marriage may appreciate the chance to discuss difficult topics in the presence of a trained counselor in a relaxed environment. A couple should make sure that they are each comfortable with the chosen counselor before beginning counseling sessions, since it is vital that each person is honest and willing to talk in order for counseling to be successful. Some counselors will only require one session, while others require a series of sessions. The cost for these sessions is entirely dependent upon the type of counseling that you seek, and could cost as little as the cost of required materials.

Counseling sessions often involve taking inventories, which can measure characteristics of the individual and the couple. Personality inventories may be used to help the couple to understand each other. Members of the couple may be asked to fill out personality inventories on themselves and on the other person to make sure that both members perceive themselves in the same way as the other member perceives them. These tests can help each individual to be aware of personality differences that may be challenging to the relationship, and counselors and the other member of the couple can provide helpful advice for handling issues that come up in the future. These tests can also help each member to see areas where they could benefit from personal growth. Another common inventory that counselors may request is one that focuses on individual expectations and perceptions of marriage. Questions on such an inventory may cover a broad range of topics, such as sexual expectations, role expectations (i.e. who will do the cleaning and whether someone will stay home to take care of future children), family planning, experiences while growing up, and opinions on marriage. The couple can then be evaluated for matching expectations, as well as warned if their answers seem too idealistic. Inventories provide a great deal of material for counselors to discuss

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