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to imagine. But what happened to me in Kroger one day, on aisle 4A, right there, between the jell-o vanilla pudding and the maraschino cherries, has made a believer out of me. It has made a lasting and indelible impression, so that, well, now I really DO need Prozac.

But anyway, here's what happened:

It was in Kroger, like I said, on aisle 4A. I was minding my own business, looking for a box of jell-o, sugar-free, vanilla pudding, lost in my own thoughts and feeling rather peaceful and centered. As I rummaged through the boxes, I was thinking that maybe my fruity friends were onto something after all. I mean, I DID feel like I was getting a little Zen-ish or something. Sort of. Or maybe I had finally found my Chi?

That's when I heard it: a low, humming, sound. Almost moaning and even a little melancholy, I guess you could say, too. A lot like some of the old gospel spirituals I had heard, growing up in the Deep South. Caught by surprise, I snapped out of my Zen, or my Chi, or whatever it was, and cocked my head quizzically toward the sound.

"What's that?" I thought, as I leaned into the direction it was coming from. Standing very still, I listened, with my eyes squinting, as if somehow it would improve my hearing or something.

After a few moments and hearing nothing further, I turned my attention back to the jell-o pudding, resuming my mental ruminations about the possibility of a Zen, or a Chi, or maybe even some of that Feng Shui stuff I had heard those Hollywood celebrities talk about.

"I guess it's possible," I thought to myself, as I stretched and peered and rifled through the shelves. Reaching behind the raspberry jell-o, I located a box of 4-oz, artificially flavored, vanilla pudding. With a quick toss, I threw it into my buggy and began to roll off. Then, I heard it again.

"What the..........?"

There was no mistaking it this time. It was dark and heavy sounding. Kind of undulating and rolling through the air in waves. It had a primal quality to it too, guttural, like a Bantu Zulu war chant or something. Tiny bumps began to erupt all over my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck snapped to attention. I had a peculiar and eerie feeling I was being watched.

Instinctively, I held my breath. Though, I can't exactly tell you why - except maybe I wasn't entirely sure that the Zen, or the Chi or the Feng Shui wasn't about to suck me into a parallel universe or something. I shot two quick, nervous glances to either end of the aisle, wondering if I should just make

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