by Rhonda Banker

Created on: January 11, 2009

Although we would all like to say that domestic violence can be prevented, the fact is that it cannot. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control" (NCADV, 2008).

As stated, DV is a systematic pattern of dominance and control and albeit men are victims of DV, 85% of domestic violence victims are women (NCADV, 2008). How does one avoid getting caught up in such a pattern when dominance and control is an acceptable and tolerable behavior? We think we need to "rule" with an iron fist when in fact we can attract more with honey. To make matters worse, violence against women, particularly in a domestic environment, has always been acceptable behavior. History exhibits how a woman's place is in the home; she only knows domestic issues and can become an "accomplished coffee maker".
She does not have what it takes to live and work in a man's world. She does not know how to "control her emotions" in many situations. She does not understand the value of money; she cannot withstand the stress of working outside the home. Women have always been treated as weaker and less knowledgeable in American society therefore they must be dominated and controlled.

Have we moved past this train of thought? No, we have not. We can point to instances that argues we might have, but if we have, then domestic violence would be a part of our past not our present.

Society does not take criminal charges of domestic violence seriously. We see this regularly. Recent case in point is New York State's newly appointed chair of the Consumer Protection Committee. This man is charged with slashing his girlfriend's face with glass but yet, under these charges he has been given power. In a sense, New York State is ignoring the facts that caused police to act. They acted because "the evidence, including surveillance videos, paints a violent picture of a heated argument and a frightened, bleeding woman in distress" (http://www.adirondackguide.com/page/content.detail/ id/504408.html?nav=5008).
Granted, at the writing of this article the appointee is only charged, New York State should wait before appointing him to such a position. Most people who enter the criminal justice system are treated as though they are guilty before proven innocent but yet this man is treated as though he is innocent before he is proven guilty. What a double standard this is.

We can not prevent Domestic Violence until we face it head on and admit on all levels that it is alive and well. We must begin teaching positive alternatives and addressing "red flags" early. The behaviors are there. We should begin taking criminal charges seriously. We must all begin working toward the same end. We need more education through constant presentations and seminars. We need to begin teaching our children. We may not have what it takes to prevent domestic violence but we may have what it takes to avoid it.

"Domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background. Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and sometimes death. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and truly last a lifetime" (NCADV, 2008).

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