by Lisa H Warren

Created on: January 11, 2009

Life experiences - large and small - can help shape the values that we, human beings, embrace; and no matter how young or old we may be, those experiences continue to help shape those values.

If we tell a lie and lose a friend because of it, we learn that being truthful is important. If we are brutally honest and lose a friend we learn that being truthful is only "best" under "most" circumstances.

When we lose someone close to us, we learn to appreciate the loved ones we still have even more. When we watch our children grow up so quickly, we learn that life is short. When we experience threat to our own lives, we learn how fragile life can be and to value it that much more.

Students who don't try as hard as they should, and find themselves with grades that are too mediocre for the best colleges, learn to emphasize that too-late acquired value of school to other students. People who spent all their teen years doing little but studying, only to realize they have missed being carefree kids, may learn to value social and leisure time a little more.

Experiencing grief helps us appreciate even the most minor joys more. Experiencing great joy helps us value the source of that joy even more.

Enjoying the sense of accomplishment helps us value excellent work ethics. Suffering the consequences of behaviors like procrastination, over-indulgence, or uncontrolled temper help us value the opposites of such behaviors even more.

Having wonderful, loving, parents helps us particularly appreciate the worth of such parents; and yet not having wonderful, loving, parents can make us particularly appreciate the worth of such parents more, as well.

Sometimes we learn to value what we have. Sometimes we learn to long for what we've never had. Then, too, there are times when we never long for, or value, what we have never had; simply because we have never had them.

When we hear beautiful music we learn to particularly value it. When we see breathtaking works of art we learn to treasure it. A baby's cries teach us the value of his smiles. Even his sniffles teach us the value of his good health.

When love goes wrong we sometimes learn that we valued it too much. When it dies we learn to value living without it. When it is right we learn to value what we've always valued all along (but stopped valuing for just a while).

When we experience the power of words we learn to value exercising that power more.

Life goes on and on, and we continue to learn what is valuable. We live our lives. We experience them. They shape us, and we call it, "character". We learn, and we call it, "wisdom".

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