by Deena Mcclusky

Created on: January 11, 2009

Fashion, like many other aspects of our culture, tends to be either obsessively pursued or obsessively ignored. Virtually everyone has gone through periods of their lives where they felt they needed to live and die by what some fashion magazine or website said was the "in" trend. There are equally times when you wake up one day and cannot recall the last time you added something new to your closet. Now while extremes are seldom good in anything, there are several good ways to go about escaping whatever sort of fashion rut you are in.

The first thing you need to do is realize that fashion magazines, websites, etc. exist for a couple of reasons, neither of which is to help you look good. They exist in order to sell advertising space and convince you that whatever you do own is hopelessly out of style so that you will go out and buy the product of those previously mentioned advertisers. Haven't you ever wondered why the same things they say are out are suddenly back in six months later after you've thrown them out and moved on?

The next thing you need to do is realize that you probably already know your own best fashion guru. Virtually everyone has a friend, colleague, or daughter who is always insanely well put together no matter what the budget. Listen to your guru. That does not mean forsaking what you feel is right, but rather acknowledging the fact that they dress better than you and taking a few chances to see where they lead. If the person you have chosen to guide you is really worth the faith you put in them they will not try and make you over into a version of themselves but rather a better version of you. People are too often afraid to seek the fashion advice of their very stylish daughters for fear of looking like those creepy mother-daughter pairs at the mall who are literally wearing the same clothes. If you look carefully, however, you will notice that the daughter who's look the mom is pursuing was not particularly stylish in the first place. Therefore she has chosen badly, and pursued duplicity rather than improvement.

Lastly, you should ignore all of the so-called "sage" advice to shop with your head instead of your heart. While everyone's wardrobe needs staples, the purchases that set you apart and create your style are the ones that speak to you. These types of purchases may be a color that is out of the ordinary, a silhouette you don't normally wear, or something a bit "out there" like a corset or bondage pants. The one thing that wardrobe defining purchases need to have in common is that they "speak to you". These are the items that virtually beg to go home with you. The two places where these sorts of purchases go wrong is when the reason they are speaking to you is solely that they are at a huge discount, or when you love them but they are the wrong size. In these two instances, stop immediately, leave the store, and shop another day. But when an item is out of the norm, but seems to scream your name as you pass it on a rack, you have to remember that intuition is a powerful thing. There is a reason why things invoke strong feelings, and that is often something worth exploring.

So step out of your rut and look at fashion in a whole new light. You never know who, or what, might be looking back at you.

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