by Darlene Zagata

Created on: January 11, 2009

Although there are many deadbeat parents there are also parents who have paid child support for years for children they believed were their own. Imagine what it would feel like to find out years later that the child you loved and cared for was not your biological child. Imagine how you would feel to find out that you have paid years of child support for a child that you believed was your own. Such instances have happened. Men have even gone to jail over delinquent child support arrears for a child that belonged to someone else.

In fact, men often get a raw deal when it comes to child support. Sometimes it takes looking at the whole situation before making judgments against someone who is just assumed to be a deadbeat parent. There are instances where a man is told a child is his and he has no reason to believe otherwise. He trusts his significant other only to later find that she has cheated on him. There are also cases in which the mother is not certain about who the father of her child is and so she simply tells the man she is involved with that he is the dad.

Situations such as these can be very hurtful for everyone involved. Of course, honesty is the best policy but people don't always come forth with the truth not even to those they love. We all have personal reasons for making the choices we make but we must consider how those choices are going to affect those closest to us. If you love someone it is best to be honest with him. There are men who are more than willing to accept a child that is not their biological child. They can love those children as their own. But betrayal and dishonesty can ruin a relationship.

Paternity testing can be a good thing. Although some people may be offended by it, paternity testing definitely has its benefits. It can remove doubt. It can also eliminate the hurtful lies that can tear a family apart. Being honest and open with your significant other is the right thing to do. Love survives and forgives if it is truly love. A child has the right to know the truth and so does the parents.

When a married couple has a child it is assumed that the husband is the father of the child and he becomes legally responsible for that child whether he is the father or not. If the couple later divorces the man's legal responsibility for that child does not end. If an unmarried couple has a child once the man signs declaring that he is the father he assumes responsibility for that child even though he may later find that he is not the father. If the man has even the slightest doubt that he is the father he should state that he wants to establish parentage before signing any documents.

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