by Liz Moore

Created on: January 10, 2009

Life is circular and the natural order of things dictates that the child becomes the parent become the child again, but this is something I hadn't considered before having kids.

My husband and I have been blessed with three children - all of them girls. This turned out to be wonderful for me since, as my husband has often said, I managed to create the friends I wished I'd had as a child. My daughters and I were (and still are) very close and get along well most of the time.

The girls are all adults now. When they were small, they would listen without question and accept whatever they were told as the absolute truth. That has changed; now I am often questioned and corrected whenever I happen to say something. My girls are more involved with changes in technology, current events, and life in general, whereas I'm starting to feel as though I'm a little past my prime. The trouble is that I had kids when I was young enough that I still feel almost more like a contemporary than a parent so I've had to adapt my thinking about our relationship somewhat in the past few years.

The changes in how my daughters and I relate has been a gradual thing for the most part. My two older girls stayed at home after graduating from high school so they could focus on college so the only difference was that they gradually started understanding the fact that they are now adults with more freedom than they'd been allowed as children. While they may disagree with what I say or do, they're not often prone to correcting what they perceive to be my mistakes and I often think they're trying not to hurt my feelings too much.

My youngest daughter, however, has always been more of an individual who is not afraid to say what she's thinking. This has often led to disagreements between her and her father, who are both very much alike, but I am more likely to try to avoid confrontation so I tend to allow her to influence me in ways I probably shouldn't. For the most part, she hasn't tried to do anything other than encourage me to be a less timid person who is more involved in the world around me. This also means that she tends to give advice I don't always agree with, but that I wouldn't dare dispute for fear of a falling out.

This more pronounced role reversal between me and my youngest daughter has taught me quite a lot. From her, I've learned that she still wants to be mothered, if not in the same way she was as a child. She has also taught me that it's okay to show my kids that I'm just as human and fallible as they are. I'm learning that I shouldn't fear letting go of my maternal role because I'll always be their mom, even when I reach that point in life when they will have to start making decisions for me that I may no longer be able to make for myself.

When my girls were little, I could never have predicted the wonderful young women they've become because I was too caught up in mothering them. Now that they're older, I can step back and enjoy the fruits of my labors...even if that means allowing them to mother me a little in the process.

The child becomes the mother becomes the child once more.

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