by Barbara Griffin

Created on: January 10, 2009

To say it is okay to exclude people from a family reunion, isn't a fair statement, however, it may be necessary to eliminate a person or two for the sake of the many. For example, if you insist on inviting, less say aunt Betty, knowing full well that she travels with her friendly companion, which is a flask filled with her favorite alcoholic beverage, you realize that she will become a drunken mess, get loud, wreak with booze, make a public spectacle of herself, and become more of an annoyance than a joy to be around. In this case, I would certainly say it's alright to leave a person of that caliber off your list.

Excluding someone is a delicate process, you must think of the person feelings. Try to put yourself in their place. If I were that person, I would think no one could stand being around me or loved me less than everyone else. Explain why you made the decision to leave them out, and hope it's understood. Perhaps the person will agree it's for the best. Choosing one person over the other to avoid drama, should be done tactfully, and without malice.

Sometimes uncouth behavior makes fun stories, after the fact, but during the time of a family gathering, arguments, grudges, unsettled matters, disagreements, and dislike aren't welcome. I think anyone who knows they have a problem with another relative, and clearly can't hold their temper or their tongue, should exclude themselves from the festivities. If the person or persons decide to attend the reunion, then whatever is eating at them should be restrained. It's not in good character to spoil an event that takes place once a year, this isn't the time to get even.

Coming together as a strong family unit isn't always easy, but it's necessary to keep stability. No one wants to hear relatives bickering about each other, instead of laughter and smiles, meeting and greeting, hugs and kisses, playing games and having fun. It's a wonderful time to see out of town relatives, extended relatives you've met for the first time, and the joy of new additions to the family.

Family reunions help to strengthen the fabric of our culture, it's a medium for our children to learn social interaction at different levels, from grandparents to a new born baby. It's a learning experience, a history lesson, storytelling, discovery, and the handing down of generational roots. These assets most be preserved at all cost, it can't be gained if division and discord is in the mist... As I would say, there's never a thorn in a basket of summer flowers?

Learn more about this author, Barbara Griffin.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.