by Shane Combs

Created on: January 10, 2009

I write, first and foremost, to satisfy a part of me that I cannot see. For fear of moving into a list of foggy examples that do more to confuse than to enlighten, I will call upon Cartoon Network's American Dad to help me here. This part of me I write for is something like Roger, the eccentric Alien that the Smith family keeps hidden away deep in the attic. Despite being hidden, Roger manages to dictate the familys actions with his flair for the dramatic.

In this sense, I write to feed that which I cannot satisfy or fully understand. I write because of a longing inside. I write because I recognize that this longing cannot be filled solely by physical occurrence. I write because I am trying to close that gap. I write because I hope that one day the world will look more like the words on the paper than the scenes of our daily news. I write because one day I was told to grow up and, in doing so, I put away my toys and burned down my hiding places. Now when life comes at me too fast and too hard I cannot retreat to play or run and hide so I simply run and hide in the page. I write because the Harry Potter series is finished and even Christmas has lost its magic. I write because the people who I love are 405.61 miles away and all have facebook. I write because people are better at seeing than hearing. I write in a way that takes at least minor decoding so that I know I am entering into an agreement with readers who are capable of understanding, learning from, and adding to what I write. I write because I have questions. I write because I think too much and feel too much and do not want to burden those who cannot bear that sort of weight. I write because I remember the child version of me laying on his bed unable to sleep at night. I write because I remember how he played, imagined, and created. I write in an effort to become less like me and more like him.

I write because the world around me is as confusing as the part of me that I reduced to an alien on a Cartoon Network show. I write because I wonder about the people around me. I wonder about nature versus nurture. I wonder why leaders would risk the countries they love and protect to go to war and if it is the same reason why parents cannot keep their homes despite their children. I write because I sometimes care more about properly documenting an event than experiencing it. I write as a historian trying to capture the moment even when the moment was five minutes prior to the writing.

I write to both try and fail. Despite the fact that I assure myself that writing cannot be more than a hobby, there is always that part of me that wonders if I could make it more. So, I look to clarify the situation and to help define myself.

I write because, like a marriage contract, I take myself for better or worse. On a good day or bad, in the best of times or worst, one thing remains: I find myself at the keyboard. I could continue on and on from many different angles but, at the end of the day, I write because the alien deep in the attic of my soul is continually hungry and must be fed.

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