by Glenda K. Fralin

Created on: January 09, 2009

Oh boy do I remember bullies. Double headed repeats of each other. Not a one of them could think up a new way to destroy the physical or psychological being of anyone smaller than they. Still don't, and that gives us weaklings the edge.

Here's the secret.

Their first move is to target the - weakling. The first secret is that they are the - weakling. Stick one finger up your nose and fling the biggest buger, okay let them think so, you can dig out right at their head. They will wimp out right there in front of everybody with a promise to "get" you at a specified time and place.

If you don't show, they think they win. Nope, they are so wrong, you win. How?

The next day the bully comes toward you with his chest puffed out and haunts you for not showing up. Your reply is. "You know you said the left side of the field. Where were you?" Of course they said the right, and that's where they were. Their left, your right, it's all about perspective. Make them wonder by insisting you were in the right place. Cool huh.

Now you are developing a following. The bully is getting laughed at, even by his own "tribe." He is really angry and he's weaker and more vulnerable than ever.

Now it's your turn to go in for the kill. While they are yelling at everyone else to shut up, you sneak up and de-pant's the foolish unimaginative flop.

Last trick is to get the heck out of there before the principal shows up. Most likely he is standing around the corner waiting for you to be smart enough to make your get away before he has to quit laughing and actually do something.

To all of us weaklings of the world Hold your head high and flip those bullies.

Now, if you are an adult these same dummies are still unimaginative in their eagerness to inflict pain of any sort on you. It may be the boss, so you can't fight the same way, but you can return fire in subtle, or not so subtle, ways that turn them to jelly.

Your work bully walks in snorting and pawing the floor like a fighting bull ready to charge. The unhappy lout has you in their target range only because you're there. Jump up and say. "Well, what's going well for you today?"

"Nothing, you sorry "

"Thank you sir/ma'am"

"What?"

"Thank you for giving me a reason to file a complaint against you for calling me a foul name."

Bulls Eye

"Sorry, don't do that. I'll grovel and beg. Just please don't tell on me," is their sickly, childish, unimaginative reply.

You hope that's their reaction anyway - if it goes as scripted.

But, no matter what they do after that they are up a creek. If they continue to bully with derogatory remarks and foul language, get out a notepad and start writing.

You don't have to turn them in unless you want to. But, get them where you want them.

Remember, you are the smart one with the real imagination. Get creative, but turn the bully into the wobbling mass of buger snot they are.. Never ever let them intimidate you into being the sniveling weakling they perceive you to be.

After all is said and done, you may end up friends. Weirder things have happened, but it really isn't likely.

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