by Paxus

Created on: January 09, 2009

While everything in life exists as a probability, I do not believe that there is a connection between it and the trust you give somebody. When a person enters into a relationship, they must decide if it will be a friendship or not, erotic or platonic, and a myriad of other choices. We make these decisions based on how we feel and what we already know about the person. Also, we bring our past with us, using those experiences to help us make the decisions that will shape the relationship. Only then does probability come into the equation and we are at the mercy of fate. Our trust is something we give despite the probabilities of failure.

In every relationship, there is a probability of something. Whether it is marriage, disaster, heartbreak or freakishly amazing sex, it is always there. However, some outcomes have a higher probability than others depending on circumstance, past history and future behaviour. This can be said about any decision we make in life. There is a probability that tomorrow, I'll win the lottery. There is a probability that at this very moment, the universe will reveal itself to be nothing but a container of mayonnaise. Both are highly improbable, to be sure. But not impossible.

Many people are jaded when it comes to relationships. They feel that most relationships are not worthy of their trust. This is usually because of a betrayal in the past. The experience of pain has shaped their view of the future. They see only the possibility of being hurt or used or cheated on. Therefore, they find no reason to give their trust.At first, it looks like this is the connection between trust and probability. But this is not true. The connection is between past experience and probability. It is only when the decision is made to throw probability out the window that trust comes into the equation.

Trust is usually given despite the probability of something going wrong. We make a conscious choice to trust another person not to make bad decisions. If I decide to trust another person in a relationship with me, I am then depending on their free will to do the right thing when a difficult situation presents itself. There is no thought of probability; only the belief that somebody will do the right thing. While this trust may be misplaced, it by no means has anything to do with the probability of something going wrong. It is only when I consider probability in my relationships that my trust disappears.

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