Home > Creative Writing > Humor
Created on: January 09, 2009
When I look back upon my career in shoveling snow, I can divide it in to three periods. There's the Primitive Era, the Evolutionary Era, and finally, the Concrete Era. Each marks a time where I had a different perspective in this field, my lens on shoveling focused a bit more.
The Primitive Era:
Ages: "Since-I-was-able-to shovel" to seven years old.
This time period was marked by my fascination of snow. My dad would grudgingly lumber out to shovel snow, and I, clad in my snowsuit, would prance outside, snatch a shovel, and eagerly start "shoveling." What I really achieved was limited to pushing snow around. After about five minutes of shoveling, it looked more like I had been trying to draw a picture in the snow than doing my best to clear a path. That was just about the time needed for me to quit shoveling for the day, and indulge in easier tasks, such as making snow angels and walking inside. It seemed to make my dad happier, too.
The Evolutionary Era:
Ages: Eight to thirteen and-a-half years old.
The big shift that distinguished the Evolutionary Era was the fact that it was becoming mandatory to assist my father in shoveling extravaganzas. Gone were the days of frolicking. It was time to become a man. (However, I didn't give up snow angels. Too precious.) After a snowfall I started to share my father's lack of enthusiasm to shovel, my innocence gone. The only happiness I found in the job was at the end: when I was done. More and more, shoveling could be associated with the emotions that come with a crappy movie; hopeful at the beginning, miserable in the middle, and euphoric at the credits.
The Concrete Era:
Ages: Thirteen and-a-half to present.
As the years passed, I learned many valuable principles from my dad. I was enlightened with several different realizations, such as:
-Shoveling basically sucks,
-Snow is a lot colder when you can't enjoy it,
-Mittens are warmer than gloves, and
-Shoveling really, really does suck.
These ideas have more or less been concreted in to my mind, hence the Era. I no longer accompany my dad in shoveling... he MAKES me do it now. To minimize the torture, sometimes I'll bust out a spontaneous snow angel. At this point, I'm looking forward to when the next Era materializes:
The Renaissance (Rebirth/Retirement) Era:
Ages: "Whenever-the-kid-I-have-turns-thirteen" to death
I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Let it snow.
Learn more about this author, Nicolacho.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.
Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:
Humor: Shoveling the driveway
When I was looking for a new house, I had a few, simple necessities. Must have central air. Check. Must have big enough
by B Smith
What is all that white stuff?
Removing snow is easy! Here are age old methods for removing the snow from your property:
1.
by Ethel Smith
Jack snuggled further down into the cosy, warm bed. The alarm was demanding attention but, thankfully, it was not wanting
by Lucie Shores
Somewhere out there must be an engineer, an inventor, a technician so brilliant, so driven and so talented that humankind
It was August when we bought our dream house. The driveway was covered in a canopy of shadows from the leaves of the vibrant
View All Articles on: Humor: Shoveling the driveway
Featured Partner
Law Enforcement Against Prohibition
LEAP has partnered with Helium, giving you the chance to write for a cause. Browse LEAP's featured titles, pick an issue and write! You can also donate your article earnings. Share what you know, learn new perspectives and don...more