Discipline or abuse? Ask anyone, and you'll most likely receive an either/or response. It's quite politically correct to refer to discipline as "abuse" although, frequently, those who espouse this theory have some of the most ill-behaved children imaginable. Many, too, equate spanking with abuse, but the intent here is not to discuss corporal punishment, but mere discipline.
The word "discipline" simply means "to train or to teach"; all children are exposed to discipline to some extent: their parents restrict their movement to a playpen to keep them from danger, they are told "no" when reaching for a hot stove or sharp object, they are restrained from putting harmful objects into their mouths.
As a child grows, his boundaries expand and his capabilities increase; at this time, when in the throes of those "terrible twos", parents may enhance their disciplinary techniques by using "no" more frequently, tapping their child's hand, raising their voices slightly, or using a time-out.
No thinking person can possibly equate discipline with abuse. Imagine, in the preceding two paragraphs, if a child had not been taught or trained in any way: an infant could roll or crawl in any direction, into the path of any hazard, if that playpen had not been used; a child would burn his hand, a serious injury, if he had not been told "no"; a child could choke, possibly die, if not stopped from putting a marble in his mouth.
"No" is a common word, all parents use it. And they must. A child without boundaries, a child who is not taught right from wrong, is not a happy child, or a well-adjusted one. A hand-tapping or a time-out, or even a raised voice, is designed to get the attention of the child.
As children grow and develop further, a parent who has been consistent in the use of disciplinary techniques will find that this has, overall, become rather simple. Children want to please their parents, as a rule, but need the guidance and must learn how to do this. Without discipline, or correction, a child cannot be taught.
With age and maturity, a child can and will expect more freedom; with this freedom comes more responsibility. Consistency in discipline, in using the word "no", in redirecting their focus and energies, in setting restrictions and boundaries - all of these things will make the transition through the teen years much more uneventful.
Some parents use chores or work as a discipline technique; neither could this be considered "abuse". To hear many teens and pre-teens tell the story, their parents "work them to the bone" and no one else they know "has" to do chores.
Chores merely teach a work ethic; additional chores as a natural consequence of some wrongdoing is, again, simply discipline. For example, if a teen "forgets" to let the dog out, that teen may be required to clean up any messes. This is certainly not abuse - it's a natural consequence, a method of enforcing responsibility.
It all starts with teaching a child the differences between right and wrong, safety and danger. Equating discipline with abuse is laughable - more likely a lack of discipline should be associated with neglect.