by Cathy Mcclellan

Created on: January 08, 2009

Many people think that if they have a terminally ill family member that they need to put them in a Hospice Home or Nursing Home. Not true at all. Four years ago my husband of 31 years was diagnosed with End Stage Cirrhosis. He was only 45 years old. This was a huge blow to us. He was given less than a year to live. We were totally lost and in shock for weeks. How could this be happening to us! He had had back problems for years and ended up having 4 back surgeries and the long term effect of the painkillers, Tylenol and anti-inflammatories had totally destroyed his liver. We never realized that the very medicine that was supposed to help my husband was going to eventually kill him.

We went through the usual round of second opinions, researching transplants and wondering each day if this was going to be our last day together. It was awful. But I knew without a doubt through it all that I would take care of my husband no matter what. I had worked in the Medical Field for many years and had first hand knowledge of how people are treated by some professionals and did not want that for my husband. No one deserves to be dismissed. I quit my job and came home to care for him with Hospice Care helping me in my home. I have never regretted a minute of it. Hospice Home Care allows the patient to stay in their own home with nurses coming out frequently to check on the patient and order or change medications that they bring to the patient. You can also get a nursing assistant to come in to help take care of the patient. There are also volunteers to come and relieve you when you need to get away for a while. Whatever medical equipment you need (hospital bed, potty chair, hand rails, walker, wheelchair, oxygen) is also provided.

True, there are long days taking care of him and watching him deteriorate but we make ends meet and we are together. I have these moments with him knowing that I could no less for him. He deserves the respect to live his last days at home where he is comfortable. Please think about what you might be doing to your loved one if you send them someplace else. They will feel that you can't deal with them anymore and it just might cause them to let go even sooner. Terminally ill patients are scared and afraid of the unknown and it is easier for them to be with loved ones instead of strangers so they feel safe and that someone who cares will be there to take care of them during the bad times or at the end. It has been 4 years and I thank the Lord every day for giving me one more day with my husband.

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