by J. Lo

Created on: January 08, 2009

Although the average child likes lots of gifts, I do not believe that we can buy their affection with toys and material possessions.

When a child is younger, they feel happy to receive a bunch of stuff. I can recall during my own childhood, that any time a holiday or my birthday rolled around, I expected a gift. This is typical with most children.

Unfortunately, because of today's fads and a child's desire to fit in, we encourage the sometimes-insatiable desire for a child to get everything that they want. This in turn fuels the "spoiled brat" syndrome.

I do believe in allowing a child to experience some pleasure from buying and owning material goods, but not to the degree that they become spoiled and start to take things for granted.

It is important to teach a child to recognize that they must work for what they want, and that the world is not handed to them on a silver platter.

Everyday life is not like Hollywood.

As a child starts to age and go through their tween and pubescent years, their needs start to change.

Although they are still in to receiving gifts, such as clothes, shoes, and accessories, they need a stronger sense of guidance and nurturing from parents due to peer pressure, and navigating their way through school and academics. Also, there's the rage in hormones.

A child can be given everything that a parent can or cannot afford, but what happens whey they start to act out because they need a helping hand or some extra attention?

Even worse (as many parents have experienced), is when a child starts to lash out and reminds you of what you haven't done for them as a parent.

Sometimes giving your child all of the material gifts in the world, is still not enough in your child's mind. Because of this, we must continuously work to balance the act of showering gifts when earned and deserved, versus not feeling guilty when withholding something to teach a child a lesson.

When I was a child, I was given chores to earn my allowance. Although I never used my money to purchase clothes, I do recall using my allowance to buy school supplies, or to pay for admission to a fun event. On occasion, I would buy a packet of barrettes or other items from the dollar store.

The lessons that I learned from receiving my allowance, was the benefit of knowing that "I earned the money," and that it was not given to me just because I wanted it.

Another experience that I'll never forget, was a Christmas morning that I tore through my gifts, acting as if there was no end to what I should receive. I blurted out to my mother that I wanted more gifts. I must have been about 7 or 8 years old. My mother kindly told me that I should appreciate what I had, because some children get nothing for Christmas. Of course, I was stunned.

I started to rethink my desire to have more, and the true fact that there are many people who are less fortunate that I am. It taught me to appreciate and to take care of my belongings, and the things that I receive as gifts.

I will suffice to say, that tangible goods have a place in a child's life, but materialism is not the greatest gift that we can give to them.

Our greatest gifts to children is our time, love and support.

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