by Lori Vadala Bizzoco

Created on: January 08, 2009

PAIN IN THE NECK

Yes, I took it for granted. Then again, maybe I took most things for granted, particularly the physical and functional qualities given to me at birth. I just simply assume that my body is supposed to operate as intended with no diversion.

I am a passerby. My anatomy is here and I am there. "There" being nowhere in particular, just not "here" aware of my own physiology. When my younger sister was twelve, the doctors diagnosed her with scoliosis. My spine had checked out perfectly five years prior. I had no self-awareness regarding my physical ability to pull back in fear, shake in anger or strike forward in disbelief. I knew my neck had a purpose, so I gave it recognition by stringing ornaments around its core to draw attention to its importance, which, to me was mere adornment over functionality.

My body did its thing by moving, shaking, jumping, running, and walking. I did my thing by sleeping, eating, working and exercising. It was a mutually independent relationship. I carried on with life never once doubting that my spine would just keep functioning the same exact way no matter what I did to weaken its ability. Proof of this rests in the time when my 5'2, 110 lb frame came crashing down on the high school parking lot pavement leaving an ovoid-shaped scar on the top of my left foot. It became a permanent tattoo of sorts. Ironically, the design of the scar was appropriate given my futile attempt to provide free piggyback rides to members of the football team. In case you're wondering, that was the first and last time I attempted the stunt of lifting a 185 lb man.

For more than thirty years, my back was silent. I never felt a single cry for help coming from behind me. My back appeared strong and so my life went on.

I cannot tell you the exact incident when it did happen, when things caught up with me. I don't even know what or who to credit for the pain. After watching the country crumble economically, I realized that the situation with my neck and back were no different. Things simply started growing weak over time and accidents from the past culminated into a big explosion. Radiating pain ran down my neck and through my lower left shoulder leaving me temporarily paralyzed in that area.

This wasn't the first time. It happened once before in the summer of 2003 while I was on a month-long business trip in Southern California. I remember that business trip well. The pain was so excruciating, someone could have put a sizzling branding iron on the area

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