by Stefanie Thomas

Created on: January 08, 2009

A FAMILY SNAPSHOT ON ANY GIVEN MORNING

Ever had a morning when you couldn't get to work fast enough because it seemed like a vacation compared to the mayhem in progress under your own roof?

I would gladly challenge any alligator wrestler to come to my home and take on the task of getting five kids between the ages of 2 and 13 out of the house on a school day - on time.

With only minor variations, the same drama unfolds at my house daily:

6:45 a.m. - In a carpe diem happy mood, I climb the stairs with a bounce in my step, anxious to greet my sleepy little sweetie pies on a cold but glorious morning that holds unlimited possibilities.

6:46 - They did it again. In the boys' room, Spongebob's annoying cackle on TV goes unnoticed by my stepsons, who are still blissfully snoring in yesterday's clothes, snack food wrappers piled high on the floor beside the beds.

6:47 - In the girls' room, the carpet disappears under a colorful mountain of clean and dirty clothes, while the hangers in the closet sadly dangle without their intended partners. Clearly, I wasn't invited to last night's after-hours fashion show. My mood is thoroughly spoiled before I can even snarl a gruff "Wake up!"

6:47 - I spit out the same instructions I have doled out every single morning for years now - Brush your teeth, wash your face, brush your hair and come down for breakfast - and keep my fingers crossed that for once they'll all get it right.

6:48 - My spirits lift as I approach my toddler's crib. He is the picture of innocence, looks like a little angel - a wet one, as I soon come to find out. The blankets and sheets are soaked; the baby is dripping all the way down the stairs and into the bathtub.

7 - It is suspiciously quiet upstairs. I hear no water running, no shuffling of feet, no fighting. Odd. Slippery baby on the hip and toothbrush dangling from my own mouth, I stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell out my first warbled warning of the day.

7:05 - My oldest daughter appears in short shorts and flip-flops. It is freezing outside. She mutters something under her breath as she saunters back upstairs to change. I have to pick my battles wisely and pretend I didn't hear what she said.

7:07 - The oldest boy sits down for breakfast. He reaches across the table for a napkin and milk and Fruit Loops go flying through the kitchen. Spoon and bowl clatter to the ground. Rather than yelling, I hold my breath til I'm blue in the face.

7:10 - The middle boy can't find any socks. I tell him to find a couple

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