by Jennifer Jacquet

Created on: January 08, 2009   Last Updated: October 02, 2009

How do you tell if a boy likes you? Isn't that the great mystery of the world? And yet most boys that i have met claim to be very simple and straightforward in expression of their emotions. You know what i think? I think that they're right, and that we girls over complicate it by trying to read something into everything.

This doesn't mean, however, that boys are always obvious. We girls like to be subtle and mysterious, to drop hints, and to try to trap our special cuties. And when they don't pick up on our hints, we get frustrated, because we want them to be able to read us, to know us, to understand us. We think that if they can figure out what we mean when we say _______, then it's a sign that it's meant to be. And if they can't figure it out . . . well, things can get pretty ugly.

Boys really aren't all that different. When a boy says that he likes your shirt, do you know what that means? It means that he likes your shirt! And when you don't pick up on that, the boy can get very frustrated.

So the real question is, how do we girls stop our ceaseless decoding and learn to actually hear what boys are telling us? Well, there's the old tried-and-true method: ask one of your friends to ask one of his friends if he likes you. But generally speaking, we girls like to be a little more subtle than that. So, here are a few tricks to help you take boys at face value:

1. Don't waste a lot of time trying to figure out his body language or tones of voice or facial expressions while you're talking to him. Instead, sit back, relax, and try to have an actual conversation with him. If all else fails, you'll at least develop a solid friendship, and he will feel comfortable with you and enjoy talking to you.

2. Try not to chase him too much. In this day and age, there's nothing wrong with the girl being the one to make the first move, but we have the same fear that they do: rejection. One sure-fire way to tell if he's interested is to refrain from pursuit. Don't back off or cool down; you can certainly encourage him to make a move, and if he does then you can certainly make one yourself. But try not to be the one who always calls him. Try not to be the one who always texts him. Don't IM him the second he gets online, don't instantly clear a spot for him next to you when he enters the room. Wait to see if he calls, if he texts, if he IMs you or if he crosses the room to ask the person next to you if they'd mind giving up their seat.

3. Flirt. See if he responds. And don't let your friends feed your ego by telling you that he was flirting with you if he really wasn't. Insist on honesty.

4. As I said before, it's a new century, and you can't always depend on him to conquer his fear of rejection. Don't be afraid to ask him out yourself! Some guys really like a girl who's not afraid to take charge and go after what she wants. And if he says no, then you can move on to worrying about what somebody else meant when they said that they liked your shirt!

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Jacquet.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.