by Ann Palmieri

Created on: January 07, 2009   Last Updated: December 19, 2009

You deserve to be treated with respect.  Sometimes, we think we should just lie down and take abuse from our friends, but that doesn't come from God's word. He tells us we need to be humble and peace-makers, but not punching bags. It is not only a black eye that injures us; it is also the tear in our souls that hurt us. The Bible tells us if someone "injures" us to turn the other cheek; if the abuse continues, God expects us to get away from the trouble. He also tells us to forgive. You can forgive that negative person for disrespecting you, but then stay away from him/her!

Before shutting down any relationship, I would discuss the problem with the friend. Let him/her know how you feel about how you are treated and talked to. You might like to save the relationship, but only if you can see a change in how he/she talks to you. Tell this person you will try to be a better friend, but you will decide what to do in two weeks. Make sure you meet with the person at least two times. Watch for a change. If none occurs, then politely tell the person that you choose not to meet with him/her anymore. Don't be mean; this person needs all the love he/she can get.

People who disrespect others will soon have very few friends. Negativity produces negativity; therefore, watch out for the person who constantly tears you down or talks down to you. Each person has his/her own special gift; your friends realize that. Others who negate you are not your friends. Stay away.

People who "trash" others are usually insecure. Remember the grade-school bully? Well, the bully became a nasty person who tries to do the same as the bully: push and shove instead of praise and love. If you have a lot of extra time to spend with a negative person, you might be able to help him/her change his/her attitude. Be careful that you don't take on the characteristics of your "bully."

All in all, the adult "bully" is usually a damaged "soul" who needs lots of attention. Point out how he/she affects you and how you need to be around happy people. Remind him/her when disrespect shows its ugly head. Be up front and honest with the person, but stand up and stick by your decision to cut off the relationship if it needs to end. You must cut off all contact with people who constantly show you disrespect. This method of dealing with negative, jealous, argumentative people is called survival. People who keep you all screwed up inside are no good for you. They destroy the weakest part of you; they demean your existence. They are dangerous to your survival, so stay away. They are lethal to your soul.

Learn more about this author, Ann Palmieri.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.