by Heather Tomasello

Created on: January 07, 2009

As a former college academic advisor, I believe in the power of setting goals and teaching children how to set their own goals for the future. Goals are different from "New Year's Resolutions." Goals carry positive affirmation ("I will accomplish x,) whereas resolutions tend to be negative ("I'll stop doing x.) Goals help you direct your aim and also provide concrete categories for future evaluation.

Set aside a night for your family to consider your aspirations for the upcoming year, both as individuals and a family. Here are tips to help you get started:

Be specific. Specific objectives are easier to achieve than vague ones. "I want to exercise more," is a good start. Much better: "I'll get up an hour earlier three days a week to walk around the neighborhood."

Consider categories. It might be easier to think in terms of different areas of your life such as school, work, marriage, family, health, relationship with God, etc. Challenge the members of your family to think of other categories that may be relevant.

Be realistic. "I want to make a million dollars on the stock market," is probably not achievable (especially considering the past year.) Try, "I want to learn more about investing wisely for the future."

Share some of your own. Show your kids some of the goals on your list. This communicates, "I'm only human, too. I have some areas I need to work on." Your vulnerability sets the level at which they'll be willing to share.

Whatever you do, don't tell your kids what their goals should be. Even if you have a list in mind for them. Instead, suggest categories or ask questions that will help them arrive at goals for themselves. For example, if you think your son needs to work on his math grades, you might ask, "Are there any school subjects you'd like to improve in?" Or, make one of your own goals "To help you with your math homework on a more consistent basis."

Your kids will be more motivated to accomplish the objectives they've set on their own.

After you've created your individual lists and shared them, discuss your family goals. Maybe you want to have a Family Night once a week where you turn off the TV and play board games, read, or simply spend time together. Perhaps you'd like to spend more time praying or having family devotions. Another family goal might be to find creative ways to save money towards an inexpensive vacation or trip.

Post these goals in a place where you'll see them and be reminded of your aspirations as a family. Check in occasionally to see how you're doing or to revise your lists.

As much as resolutions are made to be broken, goals seem to provide opportunities for accomplishment. Case-in-point: last January I made a list of writing objectives. I never gave the list a second glance, however, until a few weeks ago when I decided to make a new list for the upcoming year.

When I dug out last year's list I was amazed at the number of goals I'd met or exceeded. Before reading it I would have told you I didn't accomplish much as a writer this year. The list showed me otherwise.

Most New Year's resolutions, even when kept, are forgotten about. Hopefully your list of goals will become a list of achievements your family can celebrate next New Year 's Eve.

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