by Jen Harley

Created on: January 21, 2007   Last Updated: January 20, 2012

Ever since I was a teen I wanted to get my hair relaxed. My mother would give a flat out no and ask me why I would want to wreck such beautiful hair. My mother is white and my father is black. I know that it is no big deal in this day and age, but to a girl wanting to get rid of uncontrollable frizzy hair it is a big deal.

My biracial genes have granted me the gift of the most stubborn hair known to man. It's baby fine and coarse at the same time, dark with highlights, soft yet kinky, and it doesn't grow long it grows puffy.

I began my quest for the perfect stick straight hair when I began paying attention to shampoo commercials on TV. All the styles impressed me; long blond hair, textured brunette hair, shiny vibrant red hair. Then I would look at my own hair and give a frustrated sigh. It was one big soft poof of hair, nothing exceptional, no great length shine or style. I looked all over the place for a perfect style and found none. Being in junior high at the time I wasn't allowed to do anything drastic to my hair and make-up was also out, so what was a girl to do?

My first attempt at project "glam hair" was to keep it damp. I would pack a tiny spray bottle in my bag at school run to the girl's room from time to time, soaking my strands and running back to class. Sure I'd get looks and the occasional question about my damp hair, but I would ignore it and try to accept my sopping style.

When that finally failed, I opted for cutting it short and gooping it up. I ended junior high and began senior high with a home made jheri curl. Tons of gel and mousse on hair that was not meant to hold gel or mousse. It was a disaster and I was yet again the talk of the styled bunch. I sadly gave up the attempt and let it grow.

Boy did it grow! My puffy hair gained length and weight and eventually hung over my shoulders like Lady Godiva. I had pretty much forgotten the idea of getting my hair relaxed and straightened so I practiced various styles and french braids, pony tails and different clips. The only problem was, there was so much hair, I pretty much HAD to keep it held back to avoid being overwhelmed. Even with a layered cut I was swimming in hair.

I finally made the leap and found a stylist who specialized in ethnic hair. I was honestly afraid she's goo it up with gels and creams and whatnot but she took a look, studied my strands and decided that a light relax would tame my problem hair and a flattering cut would bring out the best in my locks. Where had this woman been all my life, she was a miracle worker! I left the salon with shoulder length, tame, shiny hair. Nothing out of the ordinary, just natural hair with a little encouragement.

It's understood that there are girls who will not be allowed drastic changes to their hair when they are young and to this I say, hang in there. You may be at your wits end with your style now, but be patient, you will find what works for you with all your experimenting and you'll become even more beautiful then you already know you are.

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