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Humor: The diner

by James Johnson

Created on: January 07, 2009   Last Updated: February 28, 2009

It was the 1970's and a college chum was getting married, the only problem was that David was getting married in southern Florida. Funds were tight and I really wanted to be there, so I came up with a plan. I would drive all night before the wedding, arrive around 10:00 a.m., check in to the hotel for a few hours sleep and the catch the ceremony and reception at 2:00, sleep afterwards and only have to pay for one night. I decided I probably wouldn't be in shape to drive home after the wedding without a good night's sleep.

So the plan was made, time to sort the details. First, I contacted AAA and got a "Trip Planner" : maps, routes, proposed stops and even gas stations. They also send you notes on possible problems.

The only problem in the area I was travelling was that there had been some "racial disputes" in Southern Georgia. This meant little as I consider there to only be one race, the human race. I believe that if you treat everybody with dignity and respect, most racial issues go away. What I didn't think about was that others might think differently and most places along my route would be closed after dark. Did I mention I was starting my trip until 9:00 at night?

This oversight became clear as I drove along and started getting sleepy. I, like most college students, survived mainly on caffiene. Unfortunately all the shops were locked down! No 7-11's or even truck stops. I had to leave the route to start searching for an all night diner!

It was just south of Macon when I spotted the sign "Black Sam's All night Diner", I overlooked the "and Bar". I didn't care what colour Sam was as long as his coffee was black with lots of caffeine, I headed straight for the neon lights.

Unfortunately, when I arrived there were other lights in the parking lot, flashing lights on the top of sheriff's cars. I assumed there had been an accident as people were milling around with two shouting at each other. I parked my beat up Datsun and headed for the door, it was right behind a couple of big men. I said "excuse me, I need to get in to get some coffee", they looked at me and one reached back, openning the door, polite people!

Music was blaring, the noise level was high while the lights were dim, I made a bee-line for the bar and pulled up a stool. The young lady at the bar hesitantly walked over to me and I ordered coffee, as strong as possible. She looked at me and hollers in the back, "Sam, one cup of black java, regular." This big face suddenly appears in the little opening that separates the kitchen from the bar, shouting "Who wants what?" "Black coffee, Sam, black coffee." Suddenly I noticed that only the jukebox continued to make any sounds.

I finally look around properly and realized everybody was looking at me, and no one was even remotely white. I glance at the window only to see police officers, the two bouncers, and the "shouters" all with their noses pressed to the plate glass, watching. The waitress hands me my cup of coffee.

I slowly drank the coffee and then politely turned down the offer of refills, asking for the bill. A big guy sitting by the door speaks "it's on the house". I thanked him, left a hefty tip, and then left the diner.

This really did happen in the diner. I have often wondered, was I safe because I acted politely and would the sheriff's department have stepped in if needed, or did everyone leave me alone because it is not a good idea to disturb the mentally insane?

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