by Colleen Ranney

Created on: January 07, 2009

Stress is poison and listening to someone's stress is like drinking poison. Complaining walks hand in hand with criticism and it can destroy relationships. Having a critical attitude about someone and constantly telling them is not only destructive to the relationship it is destructive to the person. In a loving relationship concerns are shared, discussed and solved. In a perfect world it would always be that way, or would it?

I have learned over the years that my idea of a perfect world is not necessarily others idea of a perfect world. Some people want to complain.

Stress is a big deal these days and finding peace is not easy. I know, because for the last 15 or more years of my life I have been the complaint box so to speak. I have listened, believed, carried, bargained, and tried to debate away the stress and hurt others threw my way.

Complainers want to be believed but do not realize an experience cannot make a person real or important. Hurt does not dictate importance. If this were true, people would stop hurting one another, at least the people that sought to be more important.

When you are venting to someone keep these thoughts in mind.

Your stress is poison to you. We all know the physical ramifications of living stressful life. We all know the mental exhaustion stress can bring. Keeping these simple truths in mind about how stress effects ourselves can only bring the obvious truth.

If stress hurts you it also hurts those you throw it at.

Stress is equivalent to drinking poison. Complainers offer me poison they do not want to drink.

I was unaware of the effects complainers had on my life until I got very sick. I believed I could heal the world. Who could condemn me for not wanting ONE SINGLE PERSON to hurt? But complainers caused me to believe I live in the unhappiest times yet.

It caused me to question the part I was responsible for and feel defeated when a solution was not what a complainer was looking for. They were looking for a moment of relief from their own poison and they wanted me to be that relief.

Now at the present moments in my life the sad truth has finally come to be. I do not speak to any of my friends or family. Each and every single relationship has ended. I decided one day I wanted to share in the beauty and happiness of life. It was a subconscious decision I did not need to speak out loud. The relationships I had with others took a different direction when I was no longer available to be the place they dumped their poison.

It broke my heart to suddenly see the truth. They wanted to complain. I refuse to spend the next 15 years trying to find out why some people just want to complain about everything, but I do not refuse to admit "Complainers make me a complainer" and that is someone I do not want to be.

If I drink poison I will die. Listening to others vent is like drinking their poison. I know how much it hurts me and am certain it has never healed me.

I want to be someone who finds a solution for the difficult experiences of life, and I seek to share those solutions with those who are willing to accept them. In the end whatever someone wants requires a great commitment and determination. It has become a must for me. My body can no longer handle stress. I get sick.

I leave you with this thought. The next time you want to vent your stress on someone realized what you are really saying is -I am sick, why won't you be sick too?

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