by Ian Jervis

Created on: January 07, 2009

Transparent Living

Whether you're a novice at this or have a well established relationship, living transparently, I believe is extremely important. The trust you have between you and your partner is paramount. Even if you do things wrong, as you will, being transparent is the answer.

Nobody is perfect! In fact, there was only one perfect person that has ever walked this earth, and they crucified him! You will say the wrong things at the wrong time, do the wrong thing, have the wrong look on your face, you will do everything wrong that you can do, but as long as you are truthful and trustworthy it doesn't matter.

If you always agree on everything, one of you is not necessary. So relax with one another but be totally open. When you live this way it takes all the pressure off. If you are having to keep things from one an other its going to get discovered one day and there will be trouble when that happens. I have seen people live one life away from their partners and another life with them and it cant be good. That seems like hard work to me!

Enjoy life! You only have a short time here so make the best of it! Does this mean you have to be a goody goody and live like an angel? No way! That's impossible! But know one another. If you don't know each others inner secrets get to know them.

It should be as though your skin is see through and your heart and thoughts can be read. " But won't she see me thinking wrong thoughts and even looking at other women?" Well yes! But should you be doing that if you want a healthy relationship? I get everything I could possibly want and need from my wife because i attend to her wants and needs! As i have written before in my article on 'Happy Women', if you be the man she needs you to be, then she will be the woman you want her to be! Of course I am speaking generically when I say these things.

I think an active sex life is critical to a long relationship. If he or she is not having his or her needs met sexually, they will look elsewhere. It tells us this in the bible, in 1 Corinthians 7:5, "Do not deprive each other (of sex) except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control"

Talk to one another constantly about your hopes, dreams and fantasies, not just sexual; all of them. I have found that a lot of couples never really take the time do do this and not only is it great fun, it really pays off regarding your life together. The more you know one another, intimately, the easier it is to live transparently.

When you get things wrong or you argue about anything always try to be the first to say, "I'm sorry, darling!" and "Forgive me". But make sure this is genuine, even in mid rage! Even if it wasn't you that started it! Trust me! When the red mist has settled, and it will if you say those words, all will be 'ironed out' in the end. True forgiveness will heal any wounds that may have been opened or re-opened during an argument, along with lots of hugs and kisses too! Even a visit to the bedroom :)

Making your relationship last the test of time will always require working at, and these things are only part of the story, but Life is great; Marriage is great; enjoy!

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