Imagine walking into a waiting room. You are dressed professionally and ready to present yourself to a potential future employer. Then imagine another man enters the waiting room dressed in a greasy jumpsuit. This other man is trying to obtain the same job as you. Now guess what happensthe man in the jumpsuit is hired for the position. The reason he was hired is that he could properly communicate with his future employer. Good interpersonal communication can help you in the workforce.
Definition of Interpersonal Communication
According to Tim Borchers a professor of communication at Moorhead State University there are two types of interpersonal communication. The first view is called the Contextual View. In this view the two people communicating are in close proximity to each other. They use many sensory channels and the feedback to their communication is immediate. The relationship between those communicating in the first view doesn't matter. The other definition is called the Developmental View. In this view interpersonal communication is defined as a type of communication that occurs between two people who have known each other for a long period of time.
In this article, I will be focusing on the first view. I will use this view because everyone communicates with one another regardless of whether or not they know each other. Even the conversation between a fast food cashier and a customer forges some type of interpersonal communication.
The Beginning of Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal communication starts in infancy. Some might think that they do not really know how to communicate their ideals to their boss until they are older and understand the world. However, according to Patsy Pierce, Ph.D., former Associate Director of Education at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, infants communicate with their parents. They ask for things they need and express their emotions using body language or verbal sounds instead of words. Just as a boss will need to communicate with his employees and understand what they need. A mother will need to understand how her child is communicating. This shows that you start learning how to ask for a raise and forge relationships when you are still in diapers.
Early Communication Experiences in the Workforce
Eventually you will grow up and communication with strangers will become more important for your financial well-being. I began my first job when I was only fourteen years old. My first employer did not know how to communicate effectively with her employees. I obtained the job through my friends parents. My friend and I both began working for this woman. When this employer had an issue to discuss with me she would speak to my friends parents about it. She did not know how to approach me or speak to me effectively even though I was open to communicating with her. The lack of communication lead to my resignation. She was left with a very inadequate employee to run her store instead of me.
I eventually went on to find another job that paid better and for which I am still currently employed. At the interview for this job, I was only fifteen years old. The employer spoke throughout most of the interview but he expressed that he cared for his employees. I received the message he was sending and decoded it as a positive work environment. I gladly took the job and was not disappointed.
These were my first experiences with having an employer and trying to communicate effectively to get what I wanted out of a job. Teaching young people interpersonal communication is not a new concept. In Scotland there is a company that holds an apprentice development program and courses to teach skills necessary for employment. Some of these skills include new workers skills, assertiveness and respecting and developing others.
Non-Verbal Communication
As we begin this section of our research we will talk about communicating without words. You might find it interesting to know that much of what you say doesn't involve speaking at all. It is called body language and many gestures and facial expressions you use could indicate an emotion that you don't want to convey to your employer. According to David Straker, the main consultant for Syque a professional consulting and publishing firm, body language is categorized into thirteen different message clusters.
These clusters are as follows: aggressive, closed, bored, deceptive, defensive, emotional, evaluating, open, power, ready, relaxed, romantic, and submissive body language. Some of the clusters you should be aware of in a job interview are closed, bored, power, evaluating, and submissive.
In the closed cluster you might cross your arms or look in other directions away from whom you are listening to. When you do, it can often be interpreted as defensiveness or trying to hide your emotion. The bored cluster is easily recognizable. It involves a lot of movement. Many who appear bored will play with things around them, shake their leg rapidly or appear as if they are tired. The power cluster is particularly interesting and effective in the business world. In this cluster, you want to have a firm handshake, and know what types of touch can assert respect and power. You also want to speak with strength using pausing as a tool to capture emotion and respect. If you are not interrupted it can be a sign of respect. You may also want to be the first to enter through a door and if you are a woman wearing heels gives you a physically higher position than your colleagues. When using the power cluster you must be careful not to appear as if you are trying to take power away from a potential employer. This may be seen as a threat to their title and will not help in obtaining the position you desire.
The evaluating cluster is pretty simple to understand. The body will usually clasp hands or stroke the chin. Sometimes you might gaze off in the distance or purse your lips. This body language can indicate that you are making a decision, judging someone, or thinking about something. The final body language cluster that is important in working with an employer is submissive. When you are submissive, you tend to keep your body small and sometimes motionless. You might keep your head down or in many circumstances you will have wide eyes. When you look at the dominate person with wide eyes you can be signaling that you're hanging on to every word they say. Another small submissive gesture used is smiling but not smiling with your eyes. This makes you seem as if you're afraid to show your emotion.
The Reason for the Conversation
Now that you have introduced yourself with a firm handshake and a full smile; it's time to declare the intent of your conversation. This intent could be for your employer or for your employees. It's a very versatile concept. In The Seven Challenges Workbook: A Guide to Cooperative Communications Skills for Success at Home and at Work by Dennis RiversRivers mentions that you should have consent to a conversation before you begin. An example of this could be "Hi, Steve. I need to ask for help on my project. Do you have a minute to talk?" Another equally effective and humorous example could be "Hi, Jerry, this is Mike. How ya doin? I want to talk to you about Fred. He's in jail again. Is this a good time to talk?"
When we start out conversations asking for consent we are able to embrace four important principles needed for the initiator to have a comfortable conversation. First, we are giving the person asked the opportunity to agree or deny having the conversation. When we do this then they will be more attentive if they say yes because they know they have to be engaged in a conversation. Second, we are able to make the listener understand the real reason for the conversation. This is also effective because both parties in the conversation will be less likely to go on a tangent. They know why they are there and why they are talking. Third, the listener will be able to get ready for what is coming in the conversation. In some cases the listener may need to defend themselves. When they know what is coming they will be able to react accordingly. If you practice this when you are terminating an employee they may have time to collect their thoughts before they respond to your first statement instead of becoming rash in emotion and action. Finally, the forth reason to declare the intent of the conversation is to declare your position or status in the conversation. You also help the listener understand the role they play in the conversation. An example would be an employer telling their employee they're getting a raise. If you start with "Sarah, you're a great asset to our company. I think we should talk about how you are being compensated." This will tell Sarah that she needs to be respectful and listen intently because she is about to receive a gift from her boss.
Listening
Now that you have begun a conversation, it is also important that you know how to pay attention. Listening is key to having a great conversation with an employer or employees underneath you. According to Sherman K. Okum Author of "How to Be a Better Listener", only 25% of people who listen understand the central ideas of communication. Okum says that an effective listener will listen between the lines of speech to the tones of voice and evidence of the point the other person is trying to convey. This can be useful when there is a walkout and you need to make negotiations. You will want to know the desires of your employees. Upon speaking of a poor listener, Okum says that they will usually tune out the speaker and are easily distracted. When you do this you show that you don't have loyalty to your employees or the person you work for. Beyond not caring a poor listener can more easily become argumentative. They do this because they haven't heard the full side of the argument or have tuned out what the other person was saying to defend him or herself.
Finally, a good listener will be energetic and make good eye contact. They show that they are actively engaged with the person they're listening to. They also listen for central ideas whereas a poor listener will only listen for the facts. When they listen for the facts then they come across as selfish.
Sending and Receiving Messages
Now comes the final principle of effective interpersonal communication that will help you in the workforce. You need to understand the channels of communicating. There are two people involved in the conversation and two things that are happening.
There is a sender of the message and there is a receiver. As soon as the receiver receives the message he decodes it, encodes another message and sends it back to the other person involved in the conversation. This is a simple concept known as a Direct Channel.
The second channel is non-verbal. This channel often gets people in trouble, especially in the workplace because this is the channel of misunderstanding. This is called the Indirect Channel and is recognized in a subliminal or subconscious way by the receiver. Sometimes people refer to this channel as their "gut feeling", "Hunch" or even "Premonition." This channel also covers body language and any other non-verbal forms of communication. You have to be careful that you do not convey this channel to often or you can be found out and misinterpreted.
Examples in the Workforce
Now you may be reading this and wondering why the definitions of these terms are so important to communicating in the workforce. It is because every type of communication includes the descriptions and definitions I have spoken of. You can take the basics of what you have learned about communicating and make it work for you in your place of employment. Likewise, they can be used in other venues.
So what are some examples of bad communication in the workplace? Gossip is one of the biggest problems plaguing the American workforce. The problem with this communication is that it is a form of "the telephone game" with employees. One person sends the message, receives it, interoperates it with the Indirect Channel . In a recent article by Fox News Online, four women were fired for gossiping about their boss. They had allegedly heard that their boss had a "close relationship" with another female employee. Because their boss was a town administrator it was important that his image was not tarnished in any way. The result was the termination of all four women involved. If the woman had practiced proper interpersonal communication skills they would not have interpreted the phrase "close relationship" indirectly. They might have also spoken to their boss individually about the matter if it bothered them. On the flip side a boss can also prevent large backlashes to a company by being open and honest with his/her employees and not waiting until the last minute to break bad news. According to Qaalfa Dibeehi, VicePresident of Beyond Philosophy consulting firm, "Being upfront helps to reduce the shock and knee-jerk reactions. If you have been proactive then you have prepared yourself,"
Ultimately, good interpersonal communication can help you in the workforce. With proper body language, listening skills, and a willingness to have a conversationeven you can climb the ladder of success.