by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: January 07, 2009

Domestic violence is not a new problem, but an old one that has simply continued from one generation to the next. It is very cyclical in certain families, and for good reason. Once one home raises the next generation within the warzone of domestic violence, they have effectively damaged or even destroyed the adult children that will leave that home and start their own one day. Because children mimic what they see and hear around them, it is up to their parents to teach them and show by example what is right and what is wrong. If this is not being done, how can we expect the cycle to ever end?

There are ways that domestic violence can be prevented and ending the cycle of abuse in your family altogether, once and for all, is the best way. This is not an easy undertaking, but it is possible and it will be worth the work when you see your own children raising your grandchildren in happy and healthy homes that will never be filled with violence and abuse. Most people will need professional help to break the cycle and heal themselves in order to move forward. Find a counselor and be truthful and open with them. Don't hide the secret shames that you have held inside any longer. Let them out and get rid of them!

Learn to put personal boundaries in place and stick to them. What will you not put up with? If, for example, you choose to never be in a relationship with someone who yells at you or slams doors, you don't need to change that for anyone. These are perfectly logical things to not want and most adults who are well-adjusted and functional do not exhibit these behaviors.

Once you have healed the wounds that have been left gaping open from your own childhood and gotten rid of the undeserved shame and feelings that you were undeserving of respect, you will be developing higher self-esteem. People who are abusers will sense that in you and run the other way. These people are predators who are on the lookout for weakness that they can attack. Strong people are not their type, so they will meet you and move on rather quickly. They cannot abuse people who won't allow them to. I am not implying that it is the victim's fault, by any means, but in most instances, it is a choice to stay after that first time.

Don't rush into permanent type relationships if you want to prevent becoming another statistic in the growing number of domestic violence cases. Take your time getting to know someone. Get to know their families and friends. If there is too much secrecy, there is usually

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