by Aeryka Rae

Created on: January 06, 2009   Last Updated: January 24, 2009

There is nothing nice about being ostracized. It doesn't feel nice, and personally speaking...I have little patience and respect for those who practice ostracizing others...no matter what the reason. I've been there, and know how it feels. And, from my experiences, I have learned that there are ways of getting a point across to someone without being rude and impolite to the point of them feeling excluded.

When I observe situations where someone appears to have been ostracized, I extend myself to them as much as possible so they don't feel left out. This way, they can decide for themselves if they want to take part, or not.

Now, in the case of dealing with being excluded from a group...it would depend on who all are among 'the group'. One would expect such 'cliquish' behavior in the adolescent, which is common among juveniles. However, they are not the only group that are guilty of immature behavior. Adults of all ages are guilty of excluding people; co-workers, family members and friends can make-up these groups as well; and, at times...you may even welcome the idea of being excluded from them.

I can recall, some of my worse years were spent working with a group of individuals who made a habit of excluded me. If they didn't like me, that's what they would do. It didn't matter whether they knew me, or not. I was different, so...I didn't fit in.

Over a period of time...I had come to realize I was being targeted; most of my co-workers had the same attitude towards me. They were like clones. Some were more vicious than others. It became a daily occurrence for me to wonder how I would respond to the foolishness that went on during the course of any given day. It didn't matter how nice I was to them. It's a cruel environment anyone should have to deal with. But, we learn to consider the source, and move on.

On a daily basis...I recognized what I was up against, and began to fortify myself with the necessary armour to gird myself up with. I read a lot. The Holy Bible has opened my eyes to the various tools the 'enemy' will use to 'sift one as wheat'. I found myself in constant prayer; reading, and copying bible verses (in my spare time) to post on the walls of my work area, which got me through many days. It helped a great deal.

Through reading the bible, I've learned the best way to deal with being excluded from groups is to:

1- Pray a lot. God hears our prayers; however, He wants us to establish a personal relationship with Him.

2- Read His Word: in them, you will find every issue of life, and how to deal with them.

3- Be selective. Get in the habit of associating with those on your level of ambition, and above. That way, it wouldn't affect you if others excluded you, or not.

4- Greet, and address others by their names. It's a known fact that people love hearing their name, as well as seeing it in writing.

5- Be involved in something that will attract others to YOU. Folk like people who are sharp, confident, and versatile...whether they choose to acknowledge it, or not.

6- Let others know they are important, and be sincere about it. Try asking their opinion on a situation sometimes.

7- Never let them see you sweat. People seem to enjoy knowing their mean ways are getting to you. It's not always good to be predictable.

So, smile and consider it a blessing that you've been excluded. Go on about your business, and feel good about yourself. Heck...you can even be responsible for OTHERS feeling good about THEMSELVES.

So....DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!

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