by Gauri Trivedi

Created on: January 06, 2009

"But what do you do the whole day at home?" I wonder why my mom was never asked this question.

Raising a child was considered a full time, exhausting and exhilarating job just a decade or two away. Now, with the changing world and everything else that has changed with it, our views on motherhood seem to have taken a step behind. With the kind of exposure kids are subjected to these days, one would have thought, the job of a mother had gotten even tougher and more time consuming. But when I get asked questions like above, it jolts me out of my dream motherhood and makes me realize that moms today are expected to not remain "only" mothers. Why else would someone ask me, a mom of a toddler, what I did the whole day? Once in a while I think of giving an appropriate answer but then I reckon my routine of waking up my baby with a smile and a cuddle, giving her half an hour to brush her teeth, cook three fresh meals a day, keep the house as clean as possible, take her for a walk to the park, bake cookies for play dates, read stories, dance with her on her favorite music and watch "Dora, the explorer" with her while she screams in excitement "swiper no swiping" would not be regarded as an accomplishment.

I have no doubt most working moms would try and find time for all of the above, only difference is, I don't have to MAKE time, my whole time is for all these. But this debate is not about working moms or stay at homes and who is better. This debate is about a choice mothers make and why these days it has become increasingly difficult to justify the choice. I would go a step ahead and say, staying at home for your child needs no excuse or justification, yet today, there is a lot of pressure on stay at home moms to go back to work.

1) Financial factor

Let's face it, times are harder now. Maybe our demands have increased, maybe the economy is in recession or maybe we want to provide our kids with the best possible life, whatever maybe the reason, finance is and will always remain the primary concern. With single moms, the decision is even tougher because they don't even have a choice. Sometimes the family can decide to curtail certain of its expenses and in that case the mom can have the privilege of staying at home and taking care of the baby, at least till a certain age. But if the extra income is much needed, there really is nothing that can be done. More and more families find it increasingly difficult to manage on a single income and the pressure to earn today is more

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