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Understanding and reasoning with a smoker

by Patricia Watson

Created on: January 06, 2009

At this moment I feel like a slug. As I sit here contemplating my next words to type, I am enjoying a cigarette and feeling very sheepish. My husband is a reformed smoker and he assumes I should be too. He has established a no smoking in the house rule..but he is out of town for a month, and it is freezing outside, so here I sit...smoke billowing across my computer screen. I will admit something else, I am loving this warm smoke!

Someone who has never smoked should not even try to understand why a person such as myself continues to light up...in spite of the plethora of warnings on every pack. My theory is simplistic...just don't try and reason with me or understand me..I am not in need of therapy or counselling, I am an adult who has made an informed decision. It is a scary world we live in. Each morning as I get out of bed there are tons of mishaps awaiting me, and that is before I even make it down the stairs...which in my case is a possible life ending venture every morning! We have become a society afraid of our own shadows...everything is out to get us and if it doesn't get me it will get you.

If you truly want to reason with a smoker, please don't start your sentence with.."How long have you had that cough?"..it will only make them want to have a smoke. And please don't try and convince me to go jogging every morning..it is hard to run with my coffee and smoke. I promise never to blow my smoke in your face, really I do..just please get out of mine!

To reach a smoker, you have to try and NOT reach them! Maybe try reverse logic on us, let us smoke inside, offer us an ashtray..(even if you have to improvise), talk to me, don't talk about me...then maybe you will get somewhere. I don't feel I need rescuing, not at this moment at least. Don't make me your cause of the month just to earn you merit badge. If it makes you feel better for trying I guess that is admirable, but it still will not get my attention. Smokers are a determined group of humans who have one thing in common...their resolve is seemingly unshakable.

I do realize that my family and friends care about me and want me to be around for a very long time. I am not that indifferent to their pleadings, it just gets tiresome. Someone who smokes will never quit until they are ready to do it for themselves. They have to be ready and committed. Only the smoker can make that choice, so please save yourself the time and trouble of quitting for me.

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