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son was born, times had changed drastically from my mother's child-raising years. Day-care centers were blossoming, the economy was booming, and all over America it was fashionable and in some cases, expected, for mothers to provide second incomes for their families by taking on permanent jobs. As I pondered the costs of childcare, a stranger rocking my baby and witnessing all the "firsts" of infancy while I worked in an office or factory each day, the benefits of a second car, bigger home, newer furniture, and fashionable clothing paled in comparison to mothering him myself. My husband offered no objections, so I chose to stay at home until my children were raised. Playing blocks spraddle-legged on the floor with my toddlers, coloring, learning new math, playing board games, and juggling Little League, and later All Star games were my delight. Like my mother when her children were small, we spent less, traveled less, and learned to want less.

Then came my own 'empty nest syndrome,' when the scales of the personal costs of a permanent job tipped in favor of the benefits of the extra family income. Working through to retirement, the circle is now complete. Or is it?

At 87 years of age, my widowed mother lives alone in the home that she and my father shared for 40 of their 60 years together. She desires to remain there for as long as her health will allow, but needs a little help for that to happen.

Taking into consideration an economy that is rivaling the Great Depressions of 1939 and 1946, retirement savings that are anything but secure in America today, and the growing epidemic of companies choosing to drop retiree pensions and health insurance, I could easily revisit the question, "What are the costs of a permanent job?"

But it's no use. My mind is made up. We will press on together through these golden years, helping each other by following the same principles that have worked for two generations. We will spend less and travel less, but after all these years, I finally realize I never really wanted less. I just wanted things money couldn't buy; things too costly, at times, throughout the years, to be given up for a permanent job.

Learn more about this author, Shari K. Brian.
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