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Communicating with negative people and the effect it has on your happiness

by christina christou

Created on: January 05, 2009

I used to be negative person. When someone said something positive, I would put a dampener on it and say something negative. On being told I was being negative, I would retort by saying I was just being realistic (cringe).

I know why I abhor negative people now, because it is something I know about and do not want to be like. But I also believe that we draw people or situations to us that mirrors something within ourselves which we need to still do some work on. So, even though I am a more positive person now, I still am surrounded by negative minded people. I still need some work to do!

My partner reckons he is the most positive person there is. Maybe he is the most positive person in his own family but that is to say that his family are all clutched by the terrible catastrophic thinking. They are all mildly OCD, panic about upsetting each other, look on all the bad things that could happen and basically have blinkers on and will not entertain any other point of view other than what they have learnt growing up.

Don't get me wrong, they are all lovely people and maybe if I had met them when I was in my old negative mind set I probably would have had a good old moan with them, competing for who has had the worst life, the hardest challenges to overcome and as a good friend of mine used to say have a good old 'woe is me' day.

The thing with having been a negatively conditioned person most of my formative years is that trying to be positive around negative people can be like being an ex addict trying to be 'clean' amongst addicts. It is really hard and even though who you keep company with shouldn't affect your mood or actions, it does.

Depressed people have very negative mind sets. I know because I have been depressed as long as I can remember. I don't like being around myself too long because I can wallow in my gloom and become literally paralysed. I am lucky to have learnt to use my depression to turn inwards and see what I need at that moment to feel better. I draw, I put on fast beat music, I get out of the house, even if all I want to do is wallow. There are times when my guidance tells me to stay in bed and wallow, but I put a time limit.

I have found that the best way to communicate with negative people is to listen to their story as if they are recounting a movie. I have found once I relate to them and either feel sorry for them or feel annoyance, this is where it impinges on my happiness. It is no mean feat, especially when you are being goaded in giving a response. I find this easier with people I do not know well, but harder with family.

Since being an over empathic person I also have various spiritual practises I adhere to. I visualise white light covering me and carry protective crystals and use Reiki symbols (I am a Reiki practitioner). I also ask Archangel Michael to be by me when I am with a negative person and to place his cobalt blue cloak over me and to vigillantly shield me from any negativity attaching to me.

All these things work most of the time sometimes I just feel so low in myself where nothing saves me from their misery, which brings up my own and then I am really in trouble and need a few hours locked in my room raising my energies. It is all very exhausting and it is true what is said that being around positive like-minded people is the best for your mood.

Even so, we can avoid negative people or we can learn to give them some of our new found light. I am glad that others' positive attitudes have helped me see the light in myself. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to see the positive in you in order for change to happen.

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