Toxic relationships can be formed from many different types of people in your life. They quite possibly can be with a co-worker or boss, it can be with a parent or child, a friend, or a lover... to just name a few. These relationships can be short term, lasting for days perhaps; or long term, lasting for years at a time. Some toxic relationships can be simply a pain in your neck or frustrating. And there are those which can be more intense by affecting you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually; changing who you truly are as a person in the long run.
Never the less who this individual is, this toxic relationship is harmful to you as a human being in one way or another. And quite possibly harmful to others around you as well. They bring you down emotionally and can even cause lack of self esteem which can affect you for years. They can cause mental turmoil rather you realize it or not, causing your authentic self to suddenly have an unstable foundation for everyday living; even simple decisions can suddenly cause a debate in your head. Of course many people have been in toxic relationships which have been physically abused in many different ways, and unfortunately even some whom became a victom of murder, etc. And last but not least, there are toxic relationships which affect a person spiritually, causing them to completely break down in every way. And too many times, a person may experience all of this, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual just in one relationship only.
Acknowledging the fact that this relationship is toxic is the first step in recovering. Without acknowledgement, nothing will be done to resolve the situation. Acknowledgement includes understanding that this relationship does not work as it is, and that it needs to come to an end. And in many cases it is a permanent ending, not temporary. The reason for this is because in many cases even though you are working to improve yourself, the other individual isn't working to improve themselves. And so long as they don't improve themselves, then a continued relationship with this individual will only keep you wrapped up in the turmoil which you long to get out of. In other words, nothing changes.
There are few cases where both individuals agree on the fact that they both need to work on themselves to change things, and do so for the sake of the relationship, to save it. And in this case it is temporary. And in most of these cases the individuals truly do love one another, and need one another in thier lives, and are willing to go to "any lengths" to relsolve their issues, and learn how to live peacefully. They admit there is a problem, and that they are partially to blame, and are willing to change it.
Some situations can be a temporary one or limited in some way. This is especially common for family members whom you love, however they are harmful to you in one way or another. It may become obvious to you that the other individual is not going to change, or even change enough to make a difference; and therefore you need to at least remove yourself from daily contact. For example: Living long-distance from a family member can offen times make the difference in a toxic relationship. Allowing you to continue the relationship with limited contact creates a safe zone for you to continue moving forward in life in a positive direction without ending the relationship permanetly.
Of course changing the situation doens't stop with acknowledgement, diligent action is what is required of you to make the actual changes. This of course is far harder than acknowledging it. You may have been battered in one way or another. Even just a low self esteem can keep you from taking the first step forward. This step can even take weeks, months, or years to finally accomplish; depending on how stable you are at the time. Also if you are doing this on your own, it tends to take longer to accomplish as well. Often times admitting your problems to someone who you can trust is helpful, therefore they can help you develop a plan of action. Some do not have anyone near by to lean on and they turn to local organizations, etc. to help them through this transisiton.
Sometimes after making the initial step forward, you may find yourself second quessing your actions, and rather or not it was wise. This confusion is very common when it is someone who you loved, or even simply care very deeply about. This debate in your head can make you feel like you are the bad guy in it all, when really you are doing what you need to do in order to live life peacefully. And yes, this peace will find it's way back to you in time. And time is what you have to allow in order to get use to the changes you have now taken. The initial turmoil is gone, and you now have to allow those changes to take place in your head and heart as well. Accept that this is the way that it should be, and look forward to the things that can and will help you this moment today, and what will help you in your future. Allow these things to come into your life; you deserve good things, you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be blessed, you deserve to be happy.
It's time to close the chapter of the past. You no longer live life for others who abuse you in one way or another. Now you are able to learn how to live life for yourself. Direct your attention on the things that you wish to accomplish as a person. On the things that you know are a positive step forward in your life. What are your dreams? What are the things that will bring you the happiness you long for? Perhaps there are some hobbies you wish to learn or enjoyed in the past and would like to get involved with again, if so, do them. Perhaps you would like to get involved with a local church, or some other type of organization, group, etc., if so, find that which you are looking for. This may even be helpful in finding new friends. Perhaps you would like to get in touch with old friends or family members which you havn't seen in a long time, if so, do it. These people whom you reflect on must have been good people, and those are the type of individuals you need in your life right now. Perhaps there is a profession you have longed to fill, if so, find the resources which will help you accomplish it. There are many things that you can do this very moment to bring you peace in your life. Reach deep within and find those things which you long for. Some things may seem momumental, or imposible to accomplish; however, without any effort at all, nothing will come your way. Take baby steps if neccesary to move forward with what ever it is. Sometimes a window will open up to give you the oportunity to fill those needs or desires, if so, take it. Sometimes it may require an out-side source, or even charity to help you along the way; allow these things to bless you in your journey.
You are beautiful, and you are strong. Everything happens for a reason. Your past has paved a new walk-way for you to travel. Take this journey as the new you devlopes into an even stronger, and more beautiful you. Allow these changes that come your way to bless you in many different ways. You have come this far, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even if you can't exactly see where it is you are heading, trust that you are moving in a better direction. If you stumble over a few bumps, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, don't stop here. This bump is just a bump, and nothing like the past. You can do what ever it is you set your mind to do, you always have. So don't allow the little things to stop you now. Sometimes we may even find that we take a step backward, relize it, and move forward again. Continue to find a way to live life peacefully, and eventually you will get where you wish to be in life. Get use to the new you, and learn how to make yourself shine brighter than ever before.