by Lisa Kates

Created on: January 05, 2009   Last Updated: February 04, 2011

Long distance love can work when given special attention.Tenacity, trust and planning are required in order for long-distance love to not only last but to evolve into long term relationships.

Before we were married, my husband and I dated for two years while living four hundred miles apart. Steely determination and a firm belief in our relationship kept us together. The dynamics of families, careers and other commitments created huge challenges for us. But after our initial meeting we acknowledged that we wanted to pursue a relationship. We worked hard to overcome the obstacles of living so far apart but to make it work both of us had to be prepared to make a commitment otherwise the relationship would have disintegrated. 

Take your time to get to know the other person. While on vacation or on line you may meet someone who lives in another city and think he/she is the one you'd like to be with, but essentially you don't really know them. Get to know the person before you jump into a relationship that may turn out to be may be a mistake. Long- distance love runs the risk of being totally idealized and romanticized. Add some reality to the dream and your long-distance love may indeed be the one.

Commitment is definitely number one on the list. How committed are you? Is this the person you want to spend your available free time with? Can you remain committed by being totally faithful and honest with this other person?  Only you can answer these questions honestly. Even small doubts can create disharmony in a long distance relationship.

If you have concerns about the relationship communication is key to resolving questions. Without vocalizing what you are thinking the other person cannot read your mind. Not being able to see someone totally negates all the communication body language allows. If you want to sustain a long- distance relationship you should talk on the phone and not rely solely on email. Sometimes emailed thoughts, ideas and emotions are distorted and misunderstood,.

A verbal conversation allows back and forth dialogue. Set a time each day when you can talk on the phone. Some days will allow for longer conversations than others but when you know the phone is going to ring it is something for both of you to look forward to. Some of our best telephone conversations lasted into the small hours of the morning. We may have been sleepy the following day but the conversations were certainly worth it.

Do try to email or send a text daily. At the

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