by Sarah Brodie

Created on: January 05, 2009

Overcoming previous beliefs can be the most challenging roadblocks many of us have, especially in dealing with personal relationships. When you reach adulthood and have a set of beliefs about yourself, regardless of how untrue they are, they can be very challenging to change and frequently even harder to identify.

When I realized I wasn't leading the life I wanted and I wasn't the person I wanted to be, I had to sit down and figure out why. It wasn't about how much I was making or where I was living but how I felt about where I was in my life. I decided to break down the events from the past decade and look at why I made the choices I made, how I impacted the outcome, and how I resolved the events to move on with my life.

The primary theme that kept popping up is that I was knowingly choosing events that I knew were wrong for me. I was settling because I was too scared to go after what I really wanted for myself. So, the next question was obvious. Why would I knowingly do that? There had to be something about my mindset that was affecting my decision making abilities.

Thinking back over my childhood, I realized a reoccurring theme. All my memories of my childhood were of getting teased and made fun of by my siblings or of doing gymnastics. Even though I was a pretty good gymnast, were any of the memories of winning or learning a new skill? Nope. They were all of getting hurt or getting yelled at by my coaches. Again, nothing positive. To this day, I have no childhood memories that are not negative. I know that all of my life has not been bad but for some reason that is all I have been able to hold on to.

Since I have been able to recognize my thought patterns and can admit they are not normal, I use that knowledge to change my responses and reactions to life today. One of the most important ways I have tried to rectify my false-belief patterns is by sharing them with the person it affects the most. My husband knows who I am on many levels. He lets me know when I am letting my past issues, interfere with life today. I still have times I get insecure but it's amazing what a hug from the one you love can do.

Habits don't change overnight, it takes time. Countering negative thoughts take time too. By getting to the root of what's holding you back, can help you change the thought processes so you can have the attitude and happiness you desire.

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