by Paul Elam

Created on: January 05, 2009

There is an incalculable amount of advice in this world instructing women on how to get what they want from men. Scarcely is there and issue of COSMO or a host of other women's magazines that doesn't have and article on how to find the right man, how to get and keep the right man; how to make that man love you, how to drive that man wild with desire, or how to get him to listen to you and help around the house.

There are a variety of books on the subject as well. One notable effort is Lori Uscher-Pines' "The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk," which helps women corral that guy who is not sure he wants to tie the knot.

Once she gets her prince charming, she may want to smooth out a few of his kinks. For this she can turn to the classic, "How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers," by Karen Salmansohn and Allison Seiffer.

While I am sure that the laudable work of these ladies will help you find the partnership and intimacy that is the foundation of true love, I'd also like to offer my two-cents worth, as a man, with a little self-help magic.

Let's call it, "How to Get a Man to Respect You."

I can't imagine why, but Uscher-Pines and the Trainer Twins didn't address this in their books. And being that respect might actually have something to do with a relationships quality and longevity, I'll try to pull up the slack.

I am tempted to apologize in advance to the many women for whom this advice does not apply, but then again, those that really don't need to hear this are unlikely to be offended.

Let us begin, ladies, with a definition of respect. I don't know what it says in the dictionary, but I would define it as a feeling of admiration, and a tendency toward thoughtful treatment, based on the observed qualities in a human being.

That is to say that respect is not a given. Respectful treatment is, but the actual feeling of respect is a product of what another person shows you to be their make up as a human being. I am sure you want to be treated with respect, but I am also sure that you would prefer that respect is genuine and not something that your man has to feign because he doesn't really feel that way.

Now that we have a definition for respect, let's proceed with how to get it, starting with communication.

I have heard many women say that one of their problems with men is that they are not very good listeners. I have to agree that at times they are not. So let's look at how to improve

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