by Martine Mane

Created on: January 05, 2009

I was 21 years, and life didn't seem to be promising a lot to the desperate young woman that I was. My desperation consisted in reasons generated by poverty, unemployment and corruption factors in african governments, that lead most parents to resign from their position of gardian and provider for their offspring. My deepest wish was to get away from my father's house, to escape the constant and depressing drama with my step mother and to be able to buy StayFree pads for myself when that time of the month came around. To realize my dream then, I had two options, get a job or get married. The corruption did not facilitate the getting a job part, although I managed to get a very uncertain job, uncertain in terms of viability, so uncertain, that marriage became the only option to make sure I don't return to point zero, my old man's house.

Furthermore, my country is 90% Muslim, and that factor makes the polygamist type of household very much sought out, by forever selfish men and by desperate and egomaniacal women.

So I met a man. He was 49 year old, had everything going for him and seemed to have insanely fallen in love with me. I wasn't sure about love then, and to be honest I am still not at age 34. All I know is my body reacted positively to his caressses.That's all I needed. My desire to get married to secure my life was bigger than anything else. He proceeded to help me believe he didn't love his wife anymore. So I was so assured to be his favorite, I become ingrained with the certitude that his first wife still had his last name only out of pity from him. At my little surprise, and also confirmation of how little my father loved me, he accepted to give me away in marriage to a man almost his age. But I guess the economy was just that bad. My friends were appalled, some stopped talking to me, some started kissing my ass to share with me the crumbs of his wealth that he was willing to let me have. I would say a lot of women involved in polymany fall for the mirage that they will be the only one dwelling in the heart of the master.

To my opinion the media in the United States do not hesitate to rub the polygamous communities the wrong way, and I say at just cause, because it's a practice that has yet to be eradicated.

I would not recommend polygamy to any woman as I stepped into it with a hope though self-oriented that became an illusion very quickly. I would qualify polygamy as a selfish act from both the men and the women who freely chose to do it. Only those

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