by Jessica Fayth

Created on: January 05, 2009   Last Updated: January 09, 2009

I could go on and on about giving birth. It is the most beautiful moment of your life and the most revulting at the same time. I kept telling my husband and family the things that I didn't want to happen in the birthing room. And wouldn't you guess? They all happened!

The date is July 4, 2007. My due date is today. However, I'm not going into labor today. Not me. I've been dilated 2 centimeters for the past month and have had constant diarrhea every day. But, I'm not going into labor today. I am supposed to be induced at the end of the week. So, what do I do? I go to my father's birthday party and I eat everything in sight. I ate so much that my family was nauseas. My aunt kept telling me that I was going to go into labor and because I ate so much, they would have to give me an enema. How come everyone knew I was going to go into labor but me? My mom kissed me goodbye as I left her house and told me she would be seeing me at the hospital later. I didn't think so. But, I wish I had listened and not eaten so much because as soon as I got back to my apartment, my water broke!

At the hospital I was in so much pain! However, all I could think about was whether or not they were going to give me an enema! My aunt had to put that into my head! Well, as soon as I could, I asked the nurse and they looked at my like I had ten heads. They told me it was good that I stuffed my face because I was going to need that energy. So at this point, I am thinking energy? What the hell did I get myself into?

Throughout my pregnancy I had concerns about the epidural. I had decided to go au natural. Boy was I an idiot. As soon as they asked me if I wanted that epidural I screamed YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Please note that I had only been in labor for thirty minutes prior to this. What can I say? I know I am all talk.

I kept making jokes that I would be a guinea pig when I went into labor. I was right. I of course got the nervous intern doctor. He was working with another doctor who I guess was his mentor. They had him check to see if my water actually broke. Oh my God! I am already in huge amounts of pain and now they send someone who isn't sure what he is doing to do an internel exam! It was excrutiating. I was livid. Then of course his mentor had to do a re-check to make sure he was accurate. A woman in labor should not be used as practice. I was like what the hell is wrong with these people? The intern was very scared to talk to me. He kept mumbling things and I kept having to ask him,

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