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Satire: Technology

by Hugh Holub

Created on: January 04, 2009

Too darned many buttons and options




That's the problem with all this new fangled technology.




Seems like every new gadget has lots more buttons and a big fat manual to tell you what you can do with each button.




I have many gadgets for which I've never figured out how to use the buttons. Starting with the one on my first vcr that supposedly let you delay taping a program. Even my kids couldn't make that work.




Remote controls have proliferated in buttons. I feel like the proverbial money randomly typing until he creates the works of Shakespeare. I just push the buttons and see what happens, and then try and not repeat shutting the tv down.




Cell phones are getting real annoying. They aren't even phones any more. They're mini-computers with tiny little keys I can't even see. Don't text message me, because I am incapable of responding.




New computer programs are proliferating with new functions I have not the slightest need or use for.




I dread having to upgrade to the next version of Windows because I haven't figured out how to use 10% of the stuff on my old version.




I still am using Adobe Photoshop version 4. Gets what I need done and I have had 10 years of experience figuring it out.




Remember when computers were supposed to speed up work? Seems to me with every new iteration of more RAM, more processor speed and giant software packages with 300,000 functions there's more that goes wrong, more files get lost, more virus infections wipe stuff out and the work takes longer to do.




I finally broke down and bought a digital camcorder last year. Still haven't figured out how to dub the stuff on the camera to my computer.




Did better with the digital SLR cameraenough like my old film SLR that I could wing it and actually get decent pictures. But none of my old lens work with the new camera, and there aren't a lot of affordable choices for lenses for digital cameras.




This new hdtv thing is creating serious anxiety. We don't have cable or satellite. Do I miss not seeing CNN and FOX News? Nope. Just the old fashion aerial with a few broadcast channels. Bombarded with getting ready for the conversion in February when our tvs will go dark. Finally signed up for those coupons to get the converter, which probably won't arrive in time to hook them up.




More buttons to figure out.




You guessed it, I'm over 60. Turning into a curmudgeon or a Luddite. Dang new fangled stuff.




Thank God for kids. They seem to adapt to all this new stuff like fish to water. Even as young as 3 they have careers turning on and off electronic gadgets, programming our computers, and figuring out which button does what.

Learn more about this author, Hugh Holub.
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