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The premise of self-improvement is that you are somehow lesser than your potential, and thus need to do something to improve yourself.

It is obvious that if one is overweight, smoking, not exercising enough, or eating nothing but fast food, the path to better health and self-improvement is obvious. Not that many actually succeed because self-improvement involves a lot of work.

But a lot of self-improvement advice is focused on making you "fit in" with others. Be nicer. Be kinder. Play well together. Control you anxieties. Manage your anger.

The first question that comes to mind is are you in need of improvement, or are you trying to stick your square peg into a round hole?

Maybe there's really nothing wrong with you, except you've chosen to try and fit into the wrong work or social environment. You have the soul of an artist but you believed your parents when they said you had to get a degree in accounting.

There is a great story on the web about a person who had episodes of catatonia. Obviously a problem, and it wasn't curable. So the person got a job as a live manikin at Neiman Marcus. Now she gets paid for being unable to move.

Take people with attention deficit disorder. Obviously they don't fit well in structured classrooms, or job cubicles. But they make excellent lobbyists and politiciansconstantly on the move, never sticking to anything very long.

People with obsessive compulsive disorder make great bookkeepers, and inventory stockers.

People who general anxiety disorder are exactly the folks you want running our nuclear power plants and air traffic control system.

Narcissists figured out acting in movies and plays was the right fit for them. The legal profession is also a good match. Ever seen a good trial lawyer who wasn't full of himself?

People who worry excessively and are risk averse have a happy place in working for environmental protection agencies.

We've obviously seen the trend of sociopathsthose who could care less about the consequences of their acts on othersfinding a niche on Wall Street.

People with anger management problems first need to sort out if they are angry over other people failing their expectations, or what they're angry about just wasn't fair and just. In the first instance, eliminating expectations of others does wonders to getting rid of anger.

People with high but unrealistic expectations of the behavior of others make good cops, ministers, and judges.

People who burn with the anger of injustice or unfairness have a calling to be social workers, political activists, legal aid attorneys, or cable news commentators.

Those who criticize everything around them are obviously good for writing movie reviews or being in charge of product quality control in a factory.

So it is not only about changing yourself, it is about changing the environment you live in and the people you associate with.

Your defect may actually be an asset, if you can get over feeling like a misfit and find where you best fit.

Learn more about this author, Hugh Holub.
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