Keeping your friends even after the wedding is over
Have you ever stood up in a wedding where the bride went completely psycho? Have you ever had to endure the pain and aggravation of smiling and nodding when your sister or cousin goes on and on about every wedding injustice imaginable? If not, then just maybe you are the Bridezilla, the Bride from the Black Lagoon, the one making everyone else's life miserable!
All joking aside, planning a wedding is one of the most stressful events you will ever go through in your life. You want the day to be perfect, the most romantic it can be and guests expect a flawless and fabulous event. You do not want to disappoint anyone regardless of how crazy it makes you! But, no matter how badly you need to vent at someone or how insane you feel, you still want your friends to remain your friends even after the madness is over, right?
Tip #1 for making sure your bridesmaids still want to talk to you after the wedding is to remember they are your friends, first and foremost. They're not your whipping posts, punching bags or random inanimate objects that can be yelled at or thrown at the wall. They agreed to be in your wedding because they love you and want to be by your side, sharing in the excitement of the most special day of your life, not be the person you scream at when you can't scream at anyone else. When yoga, meditation and other relaxation methods fail to work, release all that pent up anger into a pillow or bang it out on a set of drums.
Tip #2 refers to dress shopping. I've been a witness to numerous brides as they've barked out which dress they like and that it is THE
dress, no discussion, no compromise, regardless if it is best suited for a five-foot-ten stick with zero curves or bumps. The number one concern of most bridesmaids is finding a dress they will look okay in. Many don't even care if they look great, they just want to be comfortable. Forcing a dress on your bridesmaids that makes them feel uneasy tells them you do not care how they feel. Yes, you should have final say in the dress selection, but let them have some say. Have them try on several dresses and find one that suits their body styles. Hey, you could even be really daring and let them wear different styles of the same color and fabric!
Tip #3 is about money. This may be a once in a lifetime event for you, no expense spared, but not everyone has that luxury. Being a bridesmaid has many monetary obligations from the dress, alterations, and accessories to bridal shower/s, bachelorette party, and hair and nail appointments. The list goes on and it all adds up, rather quickly for that matter, and unless your bridesmaid's salaries surpass the 6-digit figure, they are more than likely on a budget. Try to choose a dress that is reasonable in price, trust me, no one will care if it's made from the finest silk. Satin will do just fine. Limit the bridal showers and other related parties and keep those costs down too, keeping the number of guests to a minimum or choosing a simpler (therefore cheaper) location.
Tip #4 in making sure you still have friends after your wedding refers to slavery. It's just so pass. (And I believe Abe Lincoln abolished it somewhere in the 19th
century.) Your bridesmaids are there to help you but they are not there to do it all! Being a good bride means you must be organized and in doing that you should know what items you should do yourself and which ones you take help with. Have a meeting with your girls, make a list of tasks and ask them, very politely, if their schedules will allow them to help you with any of said tasks. Follow that up with a sincere "thank you". They will be much more willing to help if they are asked and feel appreciated, rather than told what they have to do and when they have to do it.
We've all been at that place, school, work, or our personal lives, where the stress starts to climb up the back of our necks, grabbing a hold, then gradually squeezing harder and harder. Planning your wedding won't be any different. You'll have those moments, I can promise you that, but as long as you take a minute to breathe you'll find you can see things a bit more rationally. Take a hot bath or have a glass of wine while you rejuvenate. If you don't, and take it out on unsuspecting bridesmaids, you just may be drinking that wine alone for the rest of your life! Or at the very least, just with your new hubby!