by Maureen Doyle

Created on: January 04, 2009

One plays head games-or uses drama-with purpose-which amounts to the same thing-to make themselves feel better or more powerful at the cost of another person's feelings. I have been a recent recipient of such a thing-and it stings. The worst part-is these types of people will prey upon you at your weaker time emotionally-so they can feel validated. I am working to recover from a lot of this type of thing within the family-and their spouses. I attend my daughter's party-as she invited me-and her husband won't even look at me-or talk to me. Last year-my daughter-in -law was the recipient of this emotional blackmail. Now she is part of the drama-and uses it in a big way. I have to think about the times I have played head games-and I have to say-it was a long time ago. I don't want to be part of any type of emotional blackmail-and am now at a point where I will not attend anymore functions-where there is anyone there that uses this as a form of communication.

I have been cast out of many other's lives. I know I worked hard to make family close-but in this Season of Christmas and New Year's-I have had enough. Time to let myself feel ok with me-and let those who choose to play me with disrespect-out of my head-feelings and power over. I know this is personal-but at the same time-I'm sure there are those who can relate.

Think of it in this way-one is down on their luck so-to-speak, and there are those who will take any type of seen frustration and use it against the 'perceived' weaker one. For example, a person has had a very difficult day emotinally-and is stressed out-due to losing a job. They are invited to a birthday party-where they are expected to show up-and pay for their own food-as well as a gift. They show up at the party with a small gift-and feel like crying-over events that ongoing. To make matters worse, they had left Christmas gifts at those who play the head game's house-and had asked repeatedly to bring them to the family members putting on the birthday party. Already having had a very difficult day-the head gamers show up-don't bring the gfits-and buy themselves a nice dinner-while the one being dumped on-gets verbally put down-and orders a glass of water as it is free. Funny enough though-these same people-don't forget two days earlier to bring their Christmas gifts at a New Year's Eve party.

To make a long story short-without names-I want to let others know-and think-before they label someone as a sad sac-and then don't bother to keep in touch-or talk about the person when they leave.

People-we have to stop being cruel to others. Sometimes the cruelty is obvious-but usually it's covert. And it's all about head games-which to reiterate-is tantamount to emotional abuse.

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