by Leslie Coleman

Created on: January 04, 2009

We are single. We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season without feelings of loneliness. After all, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays are designed to bring joy to families. Norman Rockwell painted pictures of families around the holiday table. Television commercials stream videos of loving couples taking a sleigh ride, opening jewelry boxes, or sharing a candle light dinner. Many of us feel let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.

One of the greatest gifts, however, comes when we realize that we are not alone. We are not the minority. We are the majority and not everyone else experienced the perfect holiday. Some drank too much and created chaos. Some worked too hard at perfection. Some spent too much. Some experienced hurt feelings while visiting distant family members. As much as our minds try to imagine that the rest of the world was in the midst of magic, the truth is that the holidays present difficult issues for everyone.

Just as we grew out of toys when we were children, we grow out of things as adults. Something that was so important to us in previous years doesn't fit the same way in our life today. What was so important and special to us in times past doesn't work anymore because we've changed, we've grown and, as a result, we are single. Time to put last year's toys away and make room for the new.

It is the time of the year to take care of ourselves. The new year stands before us as we dig within and discover what we would like to have happen in our life this year. What would we like to attain? What kind of people do we want to attract in our lives? What character defects would we like to have removed? Where would we like to go? What would we like to have happen in friendship or love?

Our selves will tell us the answers to those questions if we love ourselves enough to listen. Self-care leads us on the path and plan for our life and never leads away from our highest good. When we learn to nurture our voice inside, we learn to trust ourselves, take care of ourselves and love ourselves. Taking care of ourselves we become healthy and happy.

It is time now to detach from the fantasy of the holidays; merely a marketing scheme intended to drive retail sales. Instead we start the transformation that will occur when we begin to listen to ourselves and act on only what is good for us. Yes, we can be in the "midst of magic" but it lies in the coming 364 days.

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