by Valerie Kelly

Created on: January 04, 2009   Last Updated: January 08, 2009

Your baby should never be left to to cry himself to sleep. In your heart you know that this isn't right. Forget all the well meaning advice that is given so freely at this time - for at the end of the day YOU know what is best for your own baby. God gave you this precious life to love and cherish and if you listen to His voice you will never go far wrong.

So much stuff is written and bandied about as to what is best for baby. It's like a minefield isn't it? Remember - no two babies are alike. They are all individuals, unique and completely different. Think about it - how can anyone know what is the best way ahead for your baby? This won't stop them giving their advice though whether it be in books or around the family table. They will have to give you the benefit of their own experience.

How can the new mum cope with this overwhelming responsibility? Supposing that she makes the wrong decicision and baby is scarred for the rest of his life?

It is the most natural thing in the world for a mother to comfort her baby. He has been hurtled into the world from the security and comfort of the womb. Don't leave him to cry - OK it may mean a few sleepless nights for you - but it won't last forever and the ultimate rewards will be boundless.

I tried once to let my baby cry herself to sleep and bitterly regretted it afterwards. My eldest daughter never slept. Right from the off she was determined to keep awake no matter what - or so it seemed. We tried everything that we could think of to induce the sandman to call but to no avail. Mothers and aunties said that we were making a rod for our own back and baby would soon latch on to the fact that we were weak and would rapidly take advantage.

This ill conceived council resulted in us going against our natural instinct and just letting her cry. She didn't cry herself to sleep however- she just yelled for four hours till engulfed with guilt I gathered up a highly emotional and frightened child into my arms. Never again did I listen to all the baby advice - I listened to my heart.

That particular baby never ever needed much sleep - she went on to do very well at school though and in her chosen career, eventually becoming a mother of three boys - some that slept and some that didn't.

The bottom line must always be - where you give love and time and caring no harm will befall your loved ones. They won't always be crying for you in the night - so be patient, for this is a wonderful time and well worth all the effort you put into it.

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