by Salina Prether

Created on: January 03, 2009   Last Updated: January 06, 2009

I think you can buy your child's affection with expensive gifts , if you can afford expensive gifts. But if you do then there are some really important things to consider before you start this gift giving.

1) what are you teaching your child about love with this kind of behavior?

2) what happens if the money is gone to do this with one day , like lost job , plant closed ?

3) what are you teaching your child about the value of a penny saved a penny earned , if they don't have to want for anything and earn it themselves?

4) what happens when the gifts stop and they think you don't love them anymore , because they are so spoiled that they become selfish and self absorbed?

5) Once these things start to happen, where do you drawl the line?

These are some things to consider , Yes you can buy your child's affection with expensive gifts , but you can't buy their love .

In my life experience's I have met many people in this world , most are just self centered people who were never taught to love people for who they are, but by what they can do for you. I have seen families fall apart over money issues , and the lack of money should never be a reason for losing true love.

In our society today, our children are taught at a early age to look out for #1 and if they offer it , take it , if it is free, get it whether you need the help or not , it is one less thing you will have to spend your money on.

I see people ever day go to food pantries to get what food they can before going to the grocery to spend another hundred dollars on junk food. Or go to eat at a church because it is free, before going home to their nice warm $ 200,000.00 homes. These are usually people who were spoiled as a child and think that , that is how the rich stay rich.

Al thought I have tried not to teach this to my children , in some weird way I am to blame for them having what selfishness in them they do have. Not that they are all selfish because they are not. My children will give to the poor and help anyone if they can. But they also didn't have the luxuries that other children had, so they seem to spend money they haven't yet earned so they can have the nicer things in life that we didn't have when they were young. They seen to have come up with the feelings that if you want it get it because you might not have a second chance to get it later.

Al thought I tried not to ' buy ' my children's affection , I deprived them of a lot things in life that children maybe should have had. like the Niki shoes or the very expensive toys.

Now they want to give to their children what they feel they were deprived of as children themselves.

But I can say that I never have to worry if my children love and respect me , they all to often tell me that I should do less for others , and start doing for myself.

To me that seems a little selfish , as I was taught by my parents that doing for others is better then doing for yourself , not that they told me this , but I seen them do this all my life.

Yes , You can buy your child's affection , but I don't think you can buy their love. I believe that love is something you earn and learn from your parents and family, from being loved.

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