by Sharon Jenson

Created on: January 03, 2009

Believing that there is a human being on this earth who has everything and it is impossible to find the perfect gift for her is pure silliness! Nonsense, I say. There isn't a person alive who has "everything". I have read and do appreciate the clever, yet predictable, suggestions my fellow writers all offered in their articles, but they simply are not looking far enough outside the box.

Whether that box is a perfect square powder blue Tiffany box, or an unstable weathered once square cardboard box, the gift inside need only to be one of thought. Putting enough thought into your gift will insure that it is original, unusual, memorable, and much appreciated. Having said that, I will assume the recipient of the gift is worthy of your efforts. If not, the exchange could be somewhat uncomfortable for both of you.

Once my mother was dying of cancer, I quickly learned that objects had no value. This meant the Rolex watch my husband attempted to give me one Christmas, and the Louis Vuitton purse I bought on impulse were worthless and void of meaning. Forgetting that things like that made my skin crawl, my husband wanted me to have the watch but between you and me, I know he knew it wasn't "me". The purse sits in the closet, only separated by dust due to the fancy dust bag it came with.

Now, if you think very hard you can come up with a gift for that special woman and it will prove to have come straight from your heart. To accomplish this, you must care for the person, wish to share something special, and offer a gift only you could think of. You must know your subject very well. Listening, observing, and paying attention to every detail all year long would be ideal. The gift idea will come easier that way. You simply reflect upon the person and the year's observations; this should lead you to the gift that will be most appreciated and needed, as well as memorable. My most powerful recommendation is a book, one that will enlighten the woman to a new subject, place, concept, or poet. Music is also good, but requires more thought.

For me, it is much easier to give gifts than to receive them. The discomfort of opening a gift is much like giving a speech in public; painful, too long, and rather hot. My face feels red, my body is hot and stuffy, I get thirsty, and I just wish I were in a room alone. I am pretty sure this happens to me because I fear my reaction. My desperate need to please does not allow me to enjoy opening gifts. It is all part of being co-dependent.

Each year I have figured out a way for all my friends and family to have the opportunity to give a gift of themselves back to mankind. After all, it is the birthday of Christ, yet no one hangs a stocking or wraps a gift for Him. What would He want from us? PerhapsHe would want for us to be kind, loving, tolerant, and more patient. Taking these few qualities into consideration, I write them on a small piece of paper and tie each to a piece of hard peppermint candy. After making sure there are enough for all, I fill a stocking with the candy. Then, after explaining my reason, I pass them out. It is always fun to watch the expression on their faces when they pull their candy out. Cranky and impatient Uncle Bob has pulled patience. Aunt Betty, being a bit selfish and self-centered, has pulled out kindness. For me, a big smile and the hope that the word sticks with each of them all year long. If not, they can pick from the stocking next year.

Good luck giving this year. Remember to offer of yourself for whom the gifts are originally given.

Learn more about this author, Sharon Jenson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.